Did anyone survive a childhood with drug addict parents

[Lorddenning1]

Good evening

Iv just watched a program about drug addiction, and it's brought back some memories from my childhood and I wondered if there were any other people like me and what your story is... and have you carried it to adulthood.
I was the oldest of 3 children and our mother was a single mum and had an Heroin addiction. Even before the drug she was a terrible mum, no hugs or being told she loved us, she was quite handy with her fist too and had a terrible temper. We witnessed domestic violence all the time, when another boyfriend used to beat her up in front of us, she always used to put men first, never us. From a young age I had to grow up fast and parent my 2 younger sisters, we managed until the drugs started and then things went downhill even further, we had dirty clothes and there was never any food, and we never went to school.
We were neglected and abused, physically and mentally, we were feral street kids, who was vulnerable. We were on the at risk register from birth but never removed from her care, as she always lied and moved around all the time, that was until she got went to jail for shop lifting and we were placed in care temporarily, she never came back for us, thank god but it was a rough time and it has shaped who I am as an adult, how could it not do.
There are around 300,000 people addicted to heroin in the UK and I wondered if there were any other people on MN who has a story to tell.

Bigfanofcheese - it hurts more when u have your own children, because you cant imagine doing that to them and it hurts to know that ur parents never put you first, we never deserved this, we didnt ask to be born.
its a horrible feeling to wake up on Christmas morning, as a child and to have no presents :( then u have to listen to other children list what they got, and wondering why is your life not like theirs. stuff like that definitely stays with you. I am not proud of this, but one year, i did try and make a good christmas for my 2 younger sisters, i went into the local town, and stole things for them, i even managed to get hold of a christmas tree and put lights on it, i couldnt watch their sad faces anymore :(

@bellylaughs - thank you for your kind words and thank you for helping the young people that need you.
im actually thinking of maybe re training to be a social worker as i think i could use my own experience to help, even 1 child.
I think i could be very good at it, or i could see myself in every child i meet and get too involved and be bad at it. Its not the right time for me at the minute, as my child is quite young and i know social work is very challenging, but i wouldn't rule it out in the future.

@Lorddenning1

*I am also from a council estate, well a couple of them actually, back then i used to think i dont want this life, as soon as im old enough im getting away from here, i was thinking of joining the army to escape her, but it would of meant leaving my sisters to fend for themselves. I dread to think where i could of been now if i wasnt put into foster care :)

So true, we were the lucky ones weren't we really - we made it out! My brother and I have different birth families and have never really got on which makes this one of my favourite memories even more...

I remember us in our shared room, safe, loved and wanted at last and both laughing and laughing and laughing saying we couldn't believe how lucky we were.

Nowadays there are lots more introduction sessions etc for adopted kids but we were basically both popped together and were nothing alike in looks or personality.

But we both honestly couldn't believe our luck and I think that laughing session bonded us enough to feel like siblings right away. I think I actually fell asleep smiling.

I've never forgotten that feeling which is why I've been so determined to "get out" - I got a second (and third and fourth) chance at life at various points and I'm not going to fucking waste it! Xxx

My dad was addicted to heroin when I was growing up. He eventually got convicted for drug dealing and got clean inside but when he got released he fell into alcoholism and his 'bad temper' never left him.
I'm also bad for stock piling food and I still have issues sleeping sometimes ( i dont think this is the direct cause of my insomnia but he would throw things and then he would leave the gas on overnight, i thought he was trying to kill us so he could claim insurance on the house my mum owned).
My mum got it worse than us and she was heavily judged for 'letting him' sell everything and let us go hungry.
I still have a bad temper, I'm worried that I take after him.
As an adult and miles away from him, I feel sorry for him. He was adopted, discharged from army for alcoholism and was constantly in court for petty crimes, then became a heroin addict. Did no one think he had a mental health issue?
This is another speculation but I have vaginismus and he used to make porn with his girlfriend for drug money.

LordDenning I hope you dont feel ashamed of that, you were only a kid doing your best to make Christmas nice for the younger ones with very limited means.

Hi OP, my 'dad' was an alcoholic and terrorised us. We would try and escape him but he would find us, smash the place to
pieces, threaten ppl who tried to help us, he would be abusive to my brother and I and would regularly assault my mum. He stole her money and left her penniless relying on handouts to feed and cloth us. Mum would try to keep some normality by sending us to school but I was terrified it wouldn't be her picking me up one day because he'd finally killed her. He used to strangle her and she still has the burst vessels around her neck to this day over 30 years later.

Also as a result of having to be taken to friends and neighbours in the middle of the night I was even more vulnerable and was sexually abused by the son of a supposed family friend. I was 6 years old when 'dad' finally left for good and that was about the sum of my childhood. I had to grow up fast and I was a very angry child.

Various counselling sessions as a teenager etc but no consistency in the service made me give up on the last line of adults who could have helped make those years a bit easier and realise it wasn't my fault. Cue years of building the biggest barrier ever and pushing everyone away to protect myself.

Nowadays, well I don't trust ppl easily and most people give up trying to get to know me before even attempting to climb the wall (my husband being the exception). My social circle is almost non-existent but I find that easier than trying to work out who's genuine.

However I love, laugh and live fiercely with absolute clarity on my life path and unflinching will to succeed. I know I am a good person and will challenge anyone who picks on the vulnerable. I am passionate and smart and I do my very best for my children - I will always be there for them no matter what. I'd say I'm successful in whatever I put my mind to and considering my past I'm balanced and have good morals.

I'm the daughter of an alcoholic single mother - similar I suppose but as far as I know ss were never involved/interested despite school knowing what our home life was like - used to forge the child benefit book to get money for food etc