Decree Absolute

[Matilda182]

Hello All,

My partner applied for a divorce over 2 years ago, this was supposed to be simple as his Wife wanted the same but said she couldn't afford it. She then decided not to acknowledge the application, and instead tried to get a share of my partners pension, but as cash! He however, had over half the value of the pension in debts. Therefore they hit a stale mate.
That is until her partner had a windfall to wish she signed the divorce paperwork. Stating he still had to pay for the divorce.

My partner is now due put the decree absolute through, however he has been put in an awful position as his son a teenager feels it is him divorcing him and therefore he does not feel he can put it through, until he is certain his son does not feel that way. However, her solicitor has now said that if we do not put it through and she applies then all legal costs will go to us as we do not have a legitimate reason.

Can anyone please help.

Thank you in advance

Sounds like an absolute pile of rubbish to me and an excuse not to divorce. Of course his teenage son will be hit hard. It’s his dads job to protect him. A deep meaningly conversation of ‘me and your mum weren’t happy anymore and we both deserve to be happy and love you very much’ would do.

He’s making an excuse not to divorce. No one doesn’t divorce based on their kids wishes, otherwise who would! Very rarely does a child want their parents to split.

Although I do agree with you there. My partner does wish to it's me who has told him not to. As there is a case of parental alienation from the other side and it is being encouraged by the other side that his son is right in believing this. My partner currently only has written contact as his son is refusing to see him due to this. Therefore we hoped it would encourage his mum and partner to encourage him not to think this so he could speak to him
His son also has a lot of underlying concerns which we are trying to encourage his mum to take him to the Doctors. We are also in close communication with the school for this.
I have to admit it is an extreme case which did start as amicable as they waited for the 2.5 years. Before applying, and neither cheated they just drifted apart, but then unfortunately things changed on the other side. Due to his age he is restricted to what happened with his son in the court order.

Can he not go back to court regarding custody? How old is his son? It’s a shame when children are used as weapons. However, his son being spun a pack of lies Is no reason he can’t divorce. If anything once divorced the son was lose some of his fears about his dad as he can see his dad still loves and wants him when he’s no longer married to mum

The court will not do court orders for 15 year old when we first applied they would for his age but it took too long to put it through. Based upon my partner having a year to apply, we though it would take it until he is 16 year old, or encourage his mum to support him through the process or even just to see his Dad, so he can. I generally think it is him pushing his Dad away before he feels he will get pushed which is obviously not the case.
In all honesty I have never seen a Father and Son who was so close, even as far as he would still hug his Dad at 14 in public.
We just feel like we are letting him down. And, felt this was the last ditch attempt to get our son back.

Your last sentence was heartbreaking to read but not getting divorced will not bring him back. All you can both do is be there for him as much as you can. Let him know if he ever needs you you’re there and even if he rejects or ignores you 100000s times, still reach out. Don’t give up on him. As he emotionally matures he will understand. I wish you well

Yes it is, we didn't expect miracles, but we do send him messages which he reads at his first possible moment, however, his mum has tried to stop this, stating he doesn't want them but he doesn't have to read them, also we are unsure if he even gets the letters. So it is our only way, to show him we are still here. Every holiday I message, to offer to meet him with his little sister who he completely adored/adores. The first one I sent through my son on instagram, which I originally got a heart back. It later got deleted and the next time my step daughter came, with out any asking she mentioned that her mum has both their accounts on her mobile. I said I messaged, and she said he got into trouble.
Anyway, I'm sure it will all turn out ok in the end. He's a good lad, and he will figure it all out, I think we just hoped to speed the process along.