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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fed up of trying my best

1 reply

Fedup5 · 17/05/2019 12:25

First time posting, but I don't know where else to turn. I'm feeling so fed up with my marriage, and I really think we might have reached the end of the road.

We've had a difficult time with one of our 3DC's health recently, and its taken its toll, so he has been off work for 3 months with stress.

Another DC was off ill from school and needed looking after a couple of days ago so he collected her as he's not in work at the moment. I came home early from work so that he could have some time to get some exercise and do his hobbies, whilst I looked after her. I suggested he take a couple of hours (meaning that I would have to stay up late working after the kids were in bed), and he went in a huff saying it wasn't for me to dish out free time (I wasn't going to be getting ANY free time myself!)
I'm so frustrated. I was trying so hard to do the right thing.

I was upset and lost my temper and now its become all about that. He says I'm bullying him and that I just don't like it when he stands up to me.
I'm just so frustrated. I just feel like he wants to do whatever he wants all the time, without giving much thought to me (or anyone else actually).
I've tried to explain my feelings calmly too but he just says I'm crazy, I'm tired, and that everything is 100% my fault (which he's said before)
I'm really trying but I'm starting to wonder if he is a narcissist (I've been reading about blameshifting) and at what point I can't give anymore.
Sorry for the long post, just don't have anyone to turn to in RL.

OP posts:
pallasathena · 17/05/2019 15:45

Tell him you've had enough of his attitude and that you're considering your options very seriously. You don't have to stay with him OP. You have free will.

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