How long to get over a 2 year relationship

[confusedanddone]

I've just ended a 2 year relationship. It was a long time coming and has ended plenty of times before (on his part) and I've always been the one to take him back.

I've put my foot down and said enough is enough, his drinking/drug taking is effecting everything.

He changed a few weeks ago and started to go and see someone, told me he'd stop the drinking and drugs but it's happened around 3 times in the last 2 weeks and frankly I'm fed up...

There is a lot of background to this, I've tried supporting him, tried helping him stop drinking/taking drugs. Every time he relapses I try different approaches on how to deal with it, keeping calm and not saying anything, not replying to him when I know he's on drugs, having a go (not the best approach), each time I'm told I'm not supportive and shouldn't expect someone to give up cold turkey and to count myself lucky he's not out doing it 3-4 times a week like before, that it's only 1-2 a week now.

But all of these reasons don't stop the pain and hurt that I'm no longer with the person I thought I'd be with for a very long time...

How do you get over this? How long does it usually take to get over it? What can I do to take my mind off of it?

anyone?

Sorry you are suffering. I believe you have made the right decision so you will eventually come out the other side rather than keep on that merry go round. No real advice for how long it takes to heal. Everyone is different.
I am very fortunate my addict parent got help and has been sober for many years. Perhaps consider Al Anon meetings for families affected by alcoholism? It is a great source of empathy and support for those whose relationships have been devastated by addictive behaviour.

bread thank you - I'm struggling at the moment. Just need to break the cycle.

It's great your parents have been able to stay sober for years! That's a good idea, I'll have a look into some in my area.

Accept that you tried. You did everything you could to save the relationship. Your life will be so much better without him in it.

It's time to move on. It's time to stop hoping he'll change. Accept he won't.

You don't need to go to AA groups. Just walk away.

You can get over this relationship as quickly or as slowly as you like. You are in control.

All this man did was really try and drag you down with him, he almost succeeded. Fortunately you have now walked away and you need to stay away from him too.

What attracted you to him in the first place and when did you first know about his addiction?. Have a think also what you have learnt about relationships when you were growing up. Are you codependent, read about codependency in relationships and see how much of that relates to your own behaviours. Look at your own boundaries in relationships and now work on revising them higher.

Accept also that you cannot act as either a rescuer or saviour in any relationship; neither approach works as you have all too clearly seen with this individual. The only one who can help him is his own self, you were never in any position to help him in any case and besides which he did not want your help or support.

Thanks for the replies. I was struggling yesterday so went and met my friend for a drink, he was sending me abuse and calling me a slag because I went out and he expected me to stay in. I think it's safe to say it's well and truly over!