Thinking about him alot lately...

[Dumbledorker]

I met a guy on tinder back in January. He is a really really lovely guy, so nice and kind to me and we had some really fun dates together. We were seeing each other for about 8 weeks until I had to break it off with him because of a few factors that I just couldnt shake off. I think its called the "ick" apparently. He took it really well and agreed we had not been together long enough for it to matter and was just so amazing about it all and understanding. We stayed friends and genuinely enjoy talking to each other every now and again. Still speak on social media and tag each other in funny things every now and again. He does make me smile and has the best sense of humour. I look forward to him messaging. I'm worried as I'm thinking about him alot lately. The little things that bugged me about him I'm starting to think about if they were really that big of a deal. I dont want to give any false Hope's to him and dont want to start anything with him if I'm risking hurting him. But at the same time I feel like i want to see him again.
I've been messed about in the passed and feel like I am now that person. I dont want to hurt him and play with his feelings but at the same time I want to meet up with him to see if I feel anything .
I've had a lot of issues stopping me from tottally connecting with anyone over the last few years since being heartbroken by ex husband. Am I healing and is it possible to lose the ick and fall for him? I'm so confused and dont know what to do for the best

What are the 'icks'?

This is where you back at someone with rose-tinted glasses.
There were reasons why you broke things off. Don't go back.

*look back

What were the icks?

Not a clue what the icks are??

When the thought of kissing someone makes you feel sick you’ve got the “ick” it’s that horrible feeling because it’s normally towards someone really nice but you just can’t kiss them or do anything physical without feeling it. In my experience once you feel like that it doesn’t go away.

The icks weren't major icks and didnt make me not want to kiss him or anything. I loved being in his company and being with him but I was terrified that I wouldnt ever feel a spark with him because in the past I had always felt the spark quickly and intense. Funnily enough both those guys cheated on me and broke my heart. This guy I can not imagine him doing that. Since we broke up hes not been seeing anyone and just doesnt seem bothered about meeting anyone so if he isnt a player when hes single then it makes me feel safer knowing he would unlikely be a player while we are together. We chat alot and have jokes about when we were in bed together and things and he makes me smile. Hes an amazing dad to his little girl too. And he was lovely with my ds 13 too when they met briefly. The icks were small stuff like he seemed to breath really heavy and also he would talk alot about work to the point I lost track in conversation and would be set not having a clue what he was on about but they were still icks even though small. I feel like I sound so shallow saying that. I've been really guarded though about falling for anyone again too. I'm scared of getting hurt and I'm scared of making anyone else feel that way too. I wouldnt wish it on anyone.

Sexual attraction doesn't normally grow over time, its normally there at the start or it isn't. You aren't sexually attracted to him. That's probably not going to change.