Sorry if this is in the wrong place, I couldn’t find anywhere about grown up families.
So for some background:
When I was a young child, my Mum and Dad had a very violent relationship. My Dad liked alcohol.a lot.
When I was 10, my Mum left my Dad and remarried. My Dad always maintained regular contact with me, up until the time I was about 20, splashing the cash and buying me stuff, which was never what I wanted but he seemed to feel guilty.
He would often turn up at my house drunk, chucking money at me and being verbally abusive. The last time was the day after I came out of hospital after having my first baby, and I told him that if he couldn’t stop turning up at my house drunk, I didn’t want him to turn up at all. I only wanted to see him sober.
Fast forward 5 years ago, when I was 34 he contacted me out of the blue, he got my number from my sister who has always always maintained contact with him.
He asked if we could meet up for a coffee, which we did a few weeks later.
He was not the man I remember. We chatted a few times over the period of the next month, but it phased out. I didn’t bother making an effort, and he wasn’t well.
This morning, I bumped into him in town and we chatted for a bit. He was happy to see me, apologised for not having been in touch and said he loved and missed me. Almost like I had no control over my mouth, I found myself saying the same, suggesting that we meet up again properly. I took his number and we agreed that I would text or call to arrange a meet up.
I feel strange. I do want to build a relationship with him, but he is a stranger to me, as I am to him. What do we talk about? How do we get to know each other?
Anyone have any advice?