Apologies in advance of the long post. I just need somewhere to explore this outside of my head.
DH struggles with his MH. This has been the case throughout the course of our relationship. Over the years he has used various different (unhealthy) outlets to avoid dealing with his MH and it has manifested in many ways. Impulsive actions, Spending, Drug use etc. This year, after a bit of an ultimatum and many years of encouragement to do so, he has finally taken the step to visit his GP, share the situation with his friends and family and begin to address things. I am immensely pleased that he has taken these steps and he is aware of this. For years DH had stated that there was nothing wrong and attributed his difficulties to anything and everything external. His MH has in the past had some quite serious consequences for me and whilst I recognise that it is my choice to stand by him (or not) I cannot help but feel resentment at how things are mapping out. Now that he has been to the GP, has his friends and family there to speak with at a safe distance and received diagnosis of anxiety and depression he appears to have turned things around on me and is now wearing the MH diagnosis like a badge. Whilst above all I am pleased that he has sought support and shared his experience I cannot help but feel a bit hurt that all the years of support, encouragement and understanding have been dismissed. I am trying to work through these feelings of resentment whilst supporting DH.
The GP has diagnosed depression and prescribed anti-depressant medication. I feel that this is only the tip of the ice berg. I believe that DH has some form of personality disorder (as does his father) however I am aware that in his 50's and with no specialist assessment this is very unlikely to ever be acknowledged.
Whilst DH's friends and family now have some knowledge of what DH is going through they have at no point reached out and asked how I am doing myself. I have no idea what exactly he has shared with them and do not want to appear selfish or needy by thinking it would be nice for them to extend a hand of support.
I do make an effort to take care of my own MH and wellbeing and have previously accessed counselling around the effects of DH's MH. I have a life separate to DH, work, friendships, interests etc.
There is more but I won't bore you with further details. Stripping it down I feel a bit as though I am sinking and do not know if it would be beneficial for us separate.