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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To be a pregnant single parent or try to make it work?

2 replies

Imtootired · 15/05/2019 16:28

Hi, first time poster. At this point I’ve kind of decided to leave things where they are and maybe try counselling but wanted some other peoples views. I have a nine year old DS. I broke up with his dad when he was a baby because he had a really bad attitude, was always grumpy and negative and wasn’t helping. He’s been quite a good dad but struggled with depression. I’ve been working and studying and dating a bit but never had a really serious relationship since. Last year and the start of this year I was in a bad place and drinking too much and my sons dad was there for me and we got back together. I got pregnant very quickly unplanned. We decided to keep the baby and try to make it work but things started going exactly the same way as before. He does the bare minimum, doesn’t help much unless I really ask and I can tell he gets annoyed. I cook dinner every night and he’ll rarely clean up. Drinks all my nice coffees etc and doesn’t buy any. Lots of little things like that. On mother’s day he was at his house and he had helped my son get a present the day before but I got no text or anything in the morning which upset me because it should have been special because I’m pregnant and it would have been really nice if he’d come around and helped our son make me a cup of tea or something. He sleeps in so late on the weekend which I can’t understand when you have a child. I can just see exactly the same things happening as last time where he thought because he was working and I wasn’t that he didn’t have to do anything else to help. I’d probably actually be better off financially if we’re not together. I know my son will be happy to have a brother or sister but I just feel so annoyed I’ve done exactly the same thing I did ten years ago. In a way we do love each other so I’ll suggest couples counselling but I feel so resentful doing everything and paying for most things especially while being so tired due to pregnancy.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/05/2019 16:31

Oh dear. You're probably going to get flamed for getting pregnant again, but what's done is done.

I think you already know the answer to this; years of the same old crap then you'll spilt up anyway. I think you're better off single and pregnant, otherwise you'll end up looking after the 3 of them. He sounds like a lazy manchild.

Imtootired · 15/05/2019 16:41

Yes one of the main things is that our families will probably be a bit disappointed if we split up again before the baby is even born so for that reason I’m kind of thinking about putting up with things but only if he makes a huge effort. Even if we do completely split up before the baby comes it’s not the end of the world I’m sure both our families will still love the baby and be happy about it

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