3 months on and now struggling

[TescoValueUserName]

I posted a few months ago mid break up and everyone was so helpful, now I need more help and handholding!

I left my ex 3 months ago, as predicted he quit his job and is now living off money he gets from his parents which he doesn't have to give me any of for the children as it's not an income.

He is now being father of the year, he was shouting at them so much when we were there but now is back to being fun daddy. How much is an act I don't know, or maybe the stress of us not being together anymore plus not having to go to work really has changed him.

He is decorating their room all glittery and putting up amazing bunk beds and has told them he's buying them a pet, the pet that we were going to get 6 months ago that he then decided he didn't want. He's doing all that in preparation for him having them more but it feels like he's doing it so that they don't want to stay with me.

Me, I've had them on my own for 3 months with him doing some school runs a week and having them a bit over the weekend but they didn't have a weekend there till last weekend, I'm exhausted and snappy, stressed with uni and struggling. Feel like I'm at breaking point with it all. I was doing ok with everything till now.

We're living at my mum's, I can't afford much and he's in the family home with most of their toys and gets to be fun daddy when they're there. My eldest has said that they have more fun with him. Obviously they have forgotten the screaming and shouting at them and me pushing her up the stairs, screwing up her pictures, laughing at her when he made her cry...

He is still in the family home as it's in his name and we weren't married. I can take him to court for half but would take ages to sort, plus I do want the girls to have some stability so don't want him to have to sell it. Even if it was in my name he wouldn't have left anyway so we would be in the same situation.

Once they've got their glittery room and pet cat with fun daddy I'm worried they'll want to spend all their time there instead of with stressed mummy at nana's. I've also had from my eldest (6) daddy says we can stay whenever we like and it doesn't matter what you say.

I'm just so pissed off with how unfair it all is.

I wouldn't be concerned about going for the house. Consider this a fresh start with severed financial ties.
Can you arrange a fair co-parenting agreement? Split the kids 50-50 as he isn't paying maintenance. If he has them 50% plus dealing with a pet, he won't be Disney dad for long. And you get a break!!! Probably best to establish a co-parenting routine soonish.

I can't be sure but I highly doubt the kids will be able to stay whenever they want-it's very rare to meet dads who want their kids that much.

Whilst the kids aren't with you, start rebuilding your life.

If he's not Disney dad he may go back to being emotionally abusive dad though and that's not a risk I want to take. Plus 50/50 is so much time away from me, my 3 year old is so attached to me I don't know how she would cope.

It's hard to explain but he's practically obsessed with them. He doesn't have much of a life away from them, no hobbies or anything. He would get home from work and the only thing he would want to do is play with them.

Maybe I'm being selfish for not wanting 50/50. It would be good to have some time to myself but 50/50 seems so little. I know it's what he would have too but it seems a bigger step going from SAHM to 50% than him working full time and also not really seeing them much since to 50% if that makes sense

You should get legal advice about his income situation. I'm sure that the money his parents give him should be counted as income. He sounds like a total arsehole.

Yes, I'm going to get advice on that as soon as I can thanks.

Yes, you got it in one!