How much is too much baggage...

[Cherryblossom200]

I’m giving internet dating a go. I’m meeting some really nice men, and negotiating the whole divorce thing. Something I’m not used to as I’ve never been married myself.

I expect a certain amount of emotional baggage etc when dating in your 40’s.

I myself have a 4 year old (whom I don’t see as baggage!) I have her full time. Some may not like that which is fair enough. But I work almost full time, own my own property and pretty much have my life in order. I also live close to family so they can look after her if I want to go out.

Recently I’ve been chatting to a guy who is applying to be divorced, he works in the RAF so stays away during the week and goes home at the weekends. Financially I think he is going to be a mess from the split. He also has two kids which is fine, but one has adhd/autism.

Every guy will come with his own set of issues, I know that. I don’t want to to too fussy otherwise I’ll never meet anyone.

I really like the sound of this guy as we have had a great chat on the phone already , but I think maybe he has got a bit too much going on for my liking...

That is too much 'baggage'. Raise your bar! He's not divorced. How do you know he's even separated?

Even more basic than his level of luggage, if he's away all week and home weekends, surely he's seeing his kids at LEAST every other one. So you could possibly date fortnightly?

I don't think seperate not divorced is necessarily a red flag, but if you're already questioning if it would work, it's provsy best to move on

He is planning on leaving the RAF, with a view to join the police soon. So will be living locally again. It’s the first thing I questioned. He has been very honest and transparent about his living situation which I like. He’s been separated nearly 2 years, apparently it’s cheaper to wait until this time period to file. I have no idea about divorce like I said, it’s a financial thing I sort of understand but it still seems very messy.

Yeah if you do no blame I think you wait for 2 yes and it's less expensive / no one gets named as the reason.
Where does he live when he's home?
What's the time scales for leaving?

If you meet I'd keep it as friends for now, you could be sat waiting around for him for a while. But it's also OK to say I don't want a guy with two kids and a dull on job etc.