Why does he ignore me then check in?

[Kittykatxxo]

My ex is in prison. We have known each other for years. We have been speaking on and off for 8 months. It will be going good we will be speaking loads then he will disappear then come back. Latest situation was we didn’t speak for a month but was on good terms he messaged me saying “just letting you know I still think about you hope you’re ok and I will see you when I’m out” we started speaking again and he started asking me to come on a visit and asking if he could take me for food when he gets his day release, telling me how I’m always on his mind and he doesn’t understand why he can’t stop thinking about me. We spoke for about 3 days and then all of a sudden he just stopped replying to me at first I got a bit angry and sent a message saying “so we have a conversation about where we both stand and now you’re ignoring me again I’m never going to believe anything u say to me” then I sent another one saying “this is the last time I’m trying with you are you ready to talk” still ignored so i started to feel abit bad and didn’t want to leave it on bad terms so I sent him a message saying “sorry for the last few messages being abit arsy I was just frustrated wasn’t looking for an arguement even though it came out that way I don’t know your situation in there but I just wanted to say sorry” he ignored that so I intend to leave it now until I hear from him which I will, I always hear from him after abit. My question isn’t so much will I hear from him but why is his behaviour like this? He isn’t really the sort to explain he keeps his thoughts to himself and doesn’t like conflict. Things to add which I think are relevant : his kids mum left him whilst he’s been in prison and had a baby to someone else, he always says he wants to be with me when he’s out but not atm because he doesn’t want to scare me away or ruin it, in the past all I’ve got from him is he hates being in jail and it depresses him, he just wants to do his jail on his own. So why message me every 2 month?

Because he can.

Read the lyrics to Sandie Shaw's "Puppet on a String".

He could genuinely be having issues serving his time, or maybe "gay for the stay" and not wanting to overlap or "contaminate" your nascent relationship.

But do you really want to be involved with an ex-con anyway?

How is he messaging you from jail?

It sounds really messy with having just been dumped by the mother of his children.. I'd step back til he's out and you can see whether he's actually over her - I'm not sure he could be given that he's been dumped while inside. You can't really establish a proper connection I don't think when he must be in a lot of turmoil.

Obviously there is then the point that is he really the guy for you - don't know his crime obviously but I'd be very wary of getting into a relationship with someone with what sounds like a chaotic lifestyle.

How is he messaging you? On an illegal phone?

Why do you care? He's an EX in JAIL.

You can definitely do better. Block him.

Jesus wept women. Why are your standards so low?

Jeremy is that you?

Because you’re on a roster with other Ex’s and he’s busy evaluating you all. Hang tight and who knows, you could be the lucky lady.

Come on OP, don’t you have more self respect than to hang around for the crumbs this man throws your way?

My ex is in prison

The rest of your post isn't really important. This sentence is key. He is your ex. Don't communicate with him any further. Job done.

He's your ex, but there is another, more recent ex, who is also the mother of his child who dumped him when he went inside?

So is this an old ex or were you the OW? I ask not to slate you but because really yo can do so much better.

He's in prison
He's texting you from an illegal phone
He's treating you like shit
There's OW on the scene

Never mind his history, what has happened in yours that you have so little self respect?!

How has he got a mobile phone?

How do you know the number?

Why are you even giving him headspace??

So I take it he's got a secret phone then if he's messaging you so much?

But tbh, "in prison" is the main issue with this

RAISE THE BAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

christ-how low are your standards?
get some self esteem and have no more to do with the man in PRISON!

Maybe he doesn't have access to his phone all the time? What with him been in prison and all?

So you are interested a man who doesn’t explain, doesn’t communicate and avoids conflict.

Not to mention he is in jail and not even the mother of his children is supporting him. The man who doesn’t communicate and avoids conflict.

Talk about relationship goals!

He’s probably messaging a number of other women at the same time too, when he gets bored with one he is onto the next.

He doesn’t sound like relationship material - love yourself and aim higher. You deserve better.

How is he your ex if the mother of his children dumped him whilst he was in jail? What did he do to get in jail and how long has he got left to serve? Not paying a parking fine is very different to GBH/murder.

Why's he in prison? Theft? Drugs? Fraud? Violence? Rape? It doesn't sound like he's ever likely to be a loving, caring, supportive, reliable partner. Who cares why he's not replying to your messages, OP? You should be pleased.

He sounds like a catch

Because he doesn't have access to the phone all the time. He probably has to sneak to use it. Prisons can be on lock down for days.

The real point is he's in jail. Not exactly who you'd want to take home to meet the parents.

An ex... let’s start with that. Why are you so invested in AN EX?!

And the guy’s in prison!

Need I say more?

Go back and pick up your sense of self-worth from the gutter you dropped it in, OP. And this time, cherish and value it. Raise the bar indeed!

He's texting you on an illegal phone. He fancies a shag whilst on day release. What a catch.