Would it be sad and pathetic to contact my ex?

[BigRedLondonBus]

I am having a really hard time at the moment, would it be really pathetic to contact my ex? We have 4 kids together and he ended it with me and disappeared. Haven’t had contact in 2 years. Would it be really sad and pathetic to contact him??

I'd get back in touch with CMS, if you haven't heard from him in 2 years,things may have changed and he may be working again.
I'm sorry you had to put up with him, he sounds shitty

I don’t want ss help. I am not abusive or neglectful and don’t want to be put in the same catorgey as people that are but my children’s school are reporting me over ridiculous things. They seem to have it in for me or at least that’s how it feels. I just wish I had support from the people in my life but my family are pretty much “you made your bed now lie in it” sort of people. So ex seems like the only option. But I realise that it is pointless. He knows I don’t get money for the youngest so things are extremely tight but doesn’t care.

I wasn’t saying you were abusive or neglectful of that was meant for me. I was suggesting that the school may be able to point you to other forms of support.
Schools will always report if there is any slight welfare concern. Because if they don’t and they miss something awful....
If he doesn’t give you money then why is it only the youngest you’re not getting money for?

The school and ss should be able to help you access support, I realise it's difficult when you may be feeling defensive but they are there to help even if they're being a bit heavyhanded.

And try Gingerbread.

I don’t want help from social services, I think the school are doing it to help, more to say I can’t cope/am neglectful. Who reports a wet patch on a child’s jumper. It was hot where we are today so would have dried in no time, I’m sure
If I went home to change it they would have been reporting that I’m always late. Just seems any little thing.

Sorry if I wasn’t can clear I meant I don’t get tax credits for the youngest as she was born after the cut off, which he knows, so he knows things will be tight for me financially. It’s best I
Don’t contact him then but I just wanted the other
Parent to parent. Maybe it needs to be me that reaches out to him.

Why bother? He knows he has kids yet CBA to see or pay for them. Nothing you say will make him be less of a shit.
You need to find your support elsewhere.

You are right. But I need support not judgement. I will check out gingerbread. Feel the school are too judgmental and critical.

I’m so sorry sending you love . He can’t make anything better for you he needs to stay in whatever gutter he has rolled into ....sorry

You are really brave I’m so proud of you .

Thank you, I’m struggling to feel brave. I just feel looked down on. I shouldn’t need to beg my ex to be a parent. He walked away and I’m left to pick up the pieces yet I’m the bad one it seems.