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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Pushing boundaries

14 replies

Cheescakeaddict · 14/05/2019 14:40

I have a male friend who, in the nicest possible way, is quite eccentric and can be odd at times . I’ve wondered before if he had feelings a couple of years ago for me as he is quite demonstrative and loving but he has a girlfriend since so I put it out of my head . I do not fancy him in the slightest . With his new girlfriend on the scene, I have detached a little .he would happily text me about random stuff every day 20-30 times.i feltthat with anew gf, heshould possibly reduce contact a little as it could be intense.... it’s justthe way he is. Anyway, he has increased contact instead which I can handle as I delay responses and do the usual ... been busy... messages..however and this is my aibu ... he has started to send me songs and videos that are meaningful I guess but also videos of massage that he enjoys . EG HEAD/ neck / hand massage ...This is how he likes to relax . There is nothing remotely sexual about these videos or him or his behaviour towards me but I still thought wtf????? AIBU

OP posts:

Original poster

Cheescakeaddict · 14/05/2019 15:03

Anyone ??

OP posts:

Original poster

Cheescakeaddict · 14/05/2019 16:30

Should I put this into relationships. Would appreciate some thoughts from anyone who has experienced anything
Like this? How do I move the thread please?

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/05/2019 16:39

Are you replying to his messages? If you’re uncomfortable with the level of contact then stop replying and/or tell him he’s being annoying and you don’t want to hear from him, or this often.

You can report your post by clicking on the 3 dots at the bottom and asking MNHQ to move it for you.

Original poster

Cheescakeaddict · 14/05/2019 16:55

Thank you

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SandAndSea · 14/05/2019 17:07

OP, I've reported it for you.

Original poster

Cheescakeaddict · 14/05/2019 17:15

Thank you

OP posts:

Original poster

Cheescakeaddict · 14/05/2019 17:56

Hi. This thread has been moved for me as it seems to be the place to put this out there! I would appreciate your thoughts please ? Thanks

OP posts:

Sparrowlegs248 · 14/05/2019 18:00

Do you like him as a friend? As in, would you be upset to lose his friendship? I think I'd have to be straight with him, tell him you don't want to receive the videos and that while you like to keep in touch the amount of texts is too much.

Whocansay · 14/05/2019 18:08

I think he's testing the waters.

I would ask him if he sent it to you by mistake, because it is weird.

crappyday2018 · 14/05/2019 18:09

Its pretty weird. I wonder if his gf knows how much he texts you. Without knowing him or any more details I would make an assumption that he still has feelings for you and he'd rather be with you than the gf.
If it were me, I just wouldn't reply to any of the weird messages, just blank them and see if he takes the hint.

sackrifice · 14/05/2019 18:14

'Dave, give it a rest mate. I'm not in the slightest bit interested in these'.

category12 · 14/05/2019 19:05

What sackrifice said.

You're friends, right? So put him straight in that kind of way, instead of just thinking it, reply "dude, wtf are you sending me?" (or other incredulous remark in your own style).

If he's trying it on, he'll either back off or clarify that he's trying it on. In which case you shut him down.
If he's just a mate, and he gets offended, then he's not a proper mate.

Original poster

Cheescakeaddict · 14/05/2019 20:45

Thank you for replying . I found it very strange so I don’t reply very much anymore . I did think that it was meant for somebody else but he addressed it in another message . I do value the friendship very much and would hate to lose him as a friend so I may have to deal with this strangeness head on

OP posts:

Aussiebean · 14/05/2019 21:26

Maybe ask if he is alright. That you are alarmed at the frequency of the messages and their content as they are so random.

He will either say it’s nothing an back off a little or talk to you.

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