I have been divorced for several years but I am still feeling very affected by my exH. He is extremely selfish with an ego. He works in the entertainment industry and is used to people fawning over him. I eventually left him and he absolutely hates me. I have a new DP and have been trying to explain my experiences. He says I was emotionally abused but I feel dramatic saying that. Some examples of his behaviour include -
- Never sharing finances. I have no idea what he earns. But we went on expensive holidays, kids at private schools etc
- I was a SAHM and he gave me £100 a week to feed and clothe three of us. He wouldn't ever give me extra even if the kids needed shoes or coats etc. Meanwhile, he was out for lunch, dinner etc every day, out for drinks, living in a different city in an expensive flat and driving an expensive car.
- We had three properties in his name which he said weren't mine so I wasn't allowed to choose any decor etc
- Never once cooked a meal, put the kids to bed, cleaned or helped with anything
- Was moody and huffy with me if he had to do something he didn't want eg see a film I chose to see for my birthday
- I never once in 8 years went out with friends while he had the kdis
- He only likes two of my friends
- once didn't speak to me for three days because I didn't want to go to his friend's wife's birthday party 10 days after a C Section
- Regularly disappeared off drinking, stayed out all night and sometimes wouldn't return in time for me to go to work
- made me give up my job because it was having an impact on his weekends
The thing is, I just think he is ridiculously selfish. I don't think he meant to be abusive. Or does no one actually mean to be abusive?! I understand the effect is the same regardless of the what the cause is