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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

DV ex partner and his family harassing my parents

14 replies

Kay5arar5arar · 13/05/2019 22:33

I fled domestic abuse several years ago now and moved area, but my ex partner and his family have began to harass and threaten my family knowing it will get to me, and worry and upset me to the point where i will contact them to see what they want, what can i do regarding the law to make it safer for my parents? Found it really hard to find support regarding aftercare once left women's aid. I never pressed charges originally as of repercussions on my family as they know where they are.

OP posts:

BumbleBeee69 · 13/05/2019 22:35

dial 999

Cherrysoup · 13/05/2019 22:40

Get them to block numbers/social media and phone the non emergency police number (not 999, ffs!) for advice and to report it so you have history.

Original poster

Kay5arar5arar · 13/05/2019 22:42

They have previously but there has been no evidence to say they've done anything, (even though they have) Wondered if theres anything to put in place, as it is aimed at getting at me. Sorry so hard to explain exactly what i mean.

OP posts:

thelastgoldeneagle · 13/05/2019 22:42

Police. Every time. Tell them the history. Don't contact them yourself. Be grey rock. Ask police for advice.

Original poster

Kay5arar5arar · 13/05/2019 22:45

Yeah true, some of the things theyve done and said to do are quite extreme, so worried they will end up doing something serious 😢 my parents wont move either, which is really annoying.

OP posts:

LJS79 · 13/05/2019 22:49

How are they harassing them? Keep evidence, messages, phone calls etc
Tell family to keep a diary and report everything. Are they coming to the house? Get a cctv camera or set up a recording device.
Then once you have three or more occasions report to the police as harassment

Original poster

Kay5arar5arar · 13/05/2019 23:46

They are coming to the house and having discussions at the door my parents are trying to be civil with them as to not add fuel to the fire as such they want contact info for me and ask about my children their causing criminal damage too, but its word of mouth so no actual evidence its them. Yeah cctv is what they are trying to sort out now. Thanks for your advise, feel like I'm asking something so stupid when the answers are quite simple, there just very clever manipulative people and will get someone else to do something if they cant. Was seeing if theres was anything we hadn't thought of or any sort of order that I personally can put in place that protects them to.

OP posts:

GiveMeFood12 · 13/05/2019 23:56

I had a non-molestation order put up as my ex and his family were harassing me and my family; following them, turning up unannounced etc

It covered myself, my parents, their home and my dd.
None of them could contact any of us directly and could not instruct anyone else to besides a solicitor.

Asdfghjklll · 14/05/2019 06:44

Ring doorbell might help. It records everything at your door so they could keep it. Or if your dad answers door your mum stands a bit back and viedoes it?
They shouldn't have to move.
Keep records.

AgentJohnson · 14/05/2019 06:55

There is no reasoning with these people and so no amount of trying to will stop them. What they are doing is called harassment and you do need to contact the Police.

These people are not master manipulators, they’re just not used to being told no.

thelastgoldeneagle · 14/05/2019 09:49

Why on earth should your parents go through the upheaval of moving just to get away from these loons?

They need to ignore them, not engage. Tell them to go away every time. CCTV or recording doorbell would be good too. Or a cease-and-desist letter from a solicitor?

But go to the police and ask for their advice. They will know what you/your parents can do.

Longsight2019 · 15/05/2019 00:17

Follow the advice above.

Log it. Report it. Log it and report it again. It’s abuse and with the right help from the police you will make it hard for them To continue.

CanuckBC · 15/05/2019 05:51

Report it to the police each and every time. How long ago was the abuse? I would report that as well. Get the background reported so the police have more to go on. It will help your parents with their reports as the ex will have been reported for violence. It will show why they want to get to you through them.

The Ring door bell is a good idea as well. Or something similar that is motion activated that records sound.

Original poster

Kay5arar5arar · 15/05/2019 08:46

Thank you everyone for your advise, waiting for a reply of the police as have sent them an email explaining my situation. 🤞 i can get some sort if end to this, feels like il never be free atm after so many years. 😞

OP posts:

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