Hi All,
I'm really confused what to do right now and would really appreciate some unbias advice.
Me and the husband just discovered I'm pregnant (3+ weeks). Straight away his exact words were "great it will be okay we can get rid no problem!" I got upset and stated that it would be like killing our already 6 month old baby and I coudlnt do that after having a child.
We have a 6 month old beautiful son and a brand new (also 6 month old ) restaurant.
This adds alot of pressure on to our previously happy marriage and my husband states the business would fail and it would end our marriage if we had another child now. Just to simply get rid and have another baby in a few years.
Now although I see the logic in what he is saying I can't help but also be emotionally involed and my heart and head say different things. As it stands I do 50% of the work for the business, 100% of raising our son (he has literally never even taken care of him for 1 your by himself). I'm struggling emotionally atm between being a good mother and in my husband eyes a good wife too (scarred I'm failing at both. By son is the happiest baby I've ever seen so I must be doing something right).
I never imagined in a million years my husband would be such a lazy father (we spoke about our roles of parents for 8 years before we had kids so thought we knew each other very well and would be no nasty surprises). I understand my husband works alot and is tired so I happily take care of my son (i feel like a single mother since he was born) but when he has the chance to help or even just told him for 20 min so i can clean the house he refuses.
I have never had a lay in/slept past 6am. Always get up with our baby during the night no complaining. He regularly sleeps in when he can never helps when he's crying so not just raising our son is on my alone (this is my first baby and only experience with babies) but i also spend soo much of my time doing things for the business and taking care of him emotionally.
Can I handle another child? The thought of killing a baby because I was careless seems totally unreasonable but on the other hand regardless of his feelings. How do I actually feel about this? He has never asked me nor have I really had a minute to stop and think what do i want....
....honestly I don't know if I could live with myself for having a termination(I had 1 at 19 and to date am very upset with myself for this) but can I/what kind of life can I give it I have another baby and have to take care of 2 babies under 1 all along and run a business.
Advice please!!