Chapter 3!

[hurtmomma]

So it's finally come to it.

I posted a thread a year ago saying my husband had cheated with his boss. We have been together 13 years married 6 and 3 beautiful babies.

I decided to forgive him and then last month out of the blue he told me he wanted to see our councillor alone to see who he wanted to be with as he still loved her.

I forgave again. We went to couple counselling and then on Saturday it was our wedding anniversary. He booked a beautiful spa weekend and it was magical.

On Tuesday, I found out he'd been meeting and sleeping with her again. It's been going on for months. This week it has felt like I'm dying. My heart is racing. I'm crying. I'm so heart broken.

When I found out I dumped all his clothes at her house and over the workplace she owned. Anyway yesterday she called the police for harassment.

My life has been turned upside down. This women created the storm and is now playing victim yet being so so malicious. And my husband defended her actions. Which again shows me how much I've already lost him because I wouldn't allow someone to hurt him.

I'm so broken. I know time is a healer but I'm so scared. I just wanted to post for some help xxx

This women created the storm and is now playing victim yet being so so malicious
She isn't married to you.
She didn't make any commitments to you.
He did. He lies to you. He cheats. He makes you feel like shit.

I'd take some time to get my head together. Cry, scream n shout. Then go see a divorce lawyer.
You're worth more than this.

Personally I see a solicitor to know my rights and then would file for divorce ASAP for adultery, naming her as the co party but that's just me.

Your husband is an arse and so is she.

There's something called the 180 which a lot of people find helpful.

Have you visited the surviving infidelity website. Lots of people there who have been through similar?

Sending you

They both contributed to this mess but most of your anger needs to be towards your husband no matter how much you want to slap the bitch. You now need to let karma sort the pair out and take one day at a time. Do you have any support?

He's the cheater, but IMO anyone who knowingly sleeps with a married person is also vile, immoral and disgusting.

I wish I could say "Good for you, embarrassing her as well." HOWEVER, be careful that you don't do anything that gets you in trouble. See someone to help you deal with your feelings, and use that anger to get moving on a better life for yourself without him in it. You gave him 2 chances too many. You deserve so much better than this.

Thank you. I know it's not the case but it feels like everyone is condoning what she has done because she wasn't married to me.

She was still married! She knew he had three small children! She knew she was started the affair on my sons first birthday! And she perused him.

My anger is towards him mainly. But I'm still angry at her. But I am going to let that go. I know it won't work out and I know he will regret it

I feel terribly sorry for you :(
Your husband is the person you should direct the majority of your anger towards, although she absolutely is no saint in this situation.

What is the situation with the children? Has he suggested how he would want things to work with seeing them?

What about your house? Do you both own it?

I would start looking out for number one from now on. Be civil for the children, but you've done enough bending over backwards to forgive him.

One day you will feel better xx

I am going to say "Good for you, embarrassing her as well."

She gave up any right to a peaceful life the day she decided to interfere with yours.

If you only dumped the clothes and didn't do anything else don't worry too much about the harassment. It is a one off not sustained harassment. I doubt the police would be interested. If you are constantly contacting her they will as she would be the victim of unwanted contact.

She is a selfish bitch. You have every right to be disgusted by her. However she is not your problem.

Your H is a selfish bastard why has strung you along and lied, cheated and deceived you. He has shown what he is and how little care love and respect he has for you.

Take your time to get him out of your life as far as you can. The sooner you do this the sooner you will start to heal. Have nothing to do with him apart from re the DC.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Divorce and try to rebuild by yourself. You deserve respect and happiness xx

I can so relate to your situation, my ex husband did the same whilst I was pregnant. Like you I forgave him & tried to move forward but a year or so later I discovered it was still going on. I think the humiliation & lies were more painful as he’d been physically/mentally abusive to me whilst trying to cope with his guilt. She was a malicious individual who contributed to the mind games & together they almost pushed me to the edge. He too defended her as she played the victim in certain situations.
For my children’s sake I kept going, running my business & trying to sort out the financial mess he left me in. It wasn’t easy & at times I just wanted to stay in bed ignoring the world. But somewhere inside me I found the strength. My GP was a great help as was counselling, family & friends. Take all the help you can get.
See a good family lawyer, see your counsellor & however hard it feels right now just remind yourself you are worth so much more & you will get through this as a much stronger person. Keep strong

Thank you. I know I now need to focus on me and my children beautiful babies.
My heart is on fire. I just want to feel normal inside and I know that will take a while. It so scary now x