Sorry for the lack of background. I'm scared to say much in case it's identifying.
I really don't want to, but think I have to go to refuge. I've made several failed attempts to go through with leaving before. Hope, and probably need, to make it work this time. I'm scared about it all and full of questions. I hope it's ok to ask away here.
Is it becoming more common for women who have to go to a refuge to stay fairly close to home? Not necessarily immediate area due to the risk but not too far?
I always understood that you had to be prepared to travel anywhere in the country for an available refuge space. Initially this scared me. I only know where I Iive. Now, I actually want a fresh start.
Called a refuge and they seemed surprised I was so far away. She was absolutely lovely, very kind and assured me it wasn't an issue, but I couldn't help having a wobble. Obviously that place had gone now but I'm unfortunately still going to have to try to find somewhere.
I'm full of fear about going as it is. I'm sure this is irrational but I'm now scared I'll stand out, my accent, etc and be not quite bullied but disliked, made to feel like an outsider by the other women, and perhaps be resented for taking a local's space. I know this sounds paranoid but I'm so scared of mixing with other people again fullstop. It's been just my not so dp for some time now. He also likes to tell me people, including his family, hate people where I'm from.
I'm being silly aren't I? I suppose I'm trying not to leave because I'm terrified about it all but I'm scared of staying as well.