MIL’s evil words - would you do the same?

[Gingerninja01]

NC as outing.
If you discovered your MIL (to whom you have never been close & has form for troublemaking) had been stirring up trouble with rest of in-laws suggesting your child was at risk as you were suffering from PND and were therefore clearly mental and everyone needed to be extremely worried, would you cut the bitch off?
To clarify my child is extremely loved and in no way neglected or at risk (it makes me feel sick even typing that)
Yes I have had PND. Yes I felt very sad but if anything I overcompensated by showering DC with love and affection and all sorts of fun outings etc. Her allegations are completely unfounded and I am disgusted by them. I never want to speak to her again and I don’t want her spreading her damaging words anywhere near my DC.
Am I being unreasonable or would others do the same?

How sad that she is basing that on your PND. I also have PND and PNA. Is her accusation literally that because of your diagnosis people should be concerned? That's very shitty of her if that's the case. What does your DH say? I would certainly be considering NC because you really dont need someone that negative around you or your children. She sounds like a nasty gossip.

Any time I’ve told her “no” for anything she’s run around telling anyone who will listen that I’ve dared to say no, painting me as precious, as possessive, as being mean to her. When OH told her I had PND, that then became I was mentally unstable.

She'd definitely be cut off. What does DH say? I hope he has told her straight to keep her distance. She sounds like the biggest threat to your child. She is pure poison.
Where's the love and support a 'normal' mil would be offering? She's evil.

Get away, you are doing great! She's an evil witch. As if anyone with a newborn needs that shit let alone if you did suffer a bit with PND!
And this is exactly why mental health illness still has a stigma attached to it because of twats like you MiL! Ditch the witch! Look after yourself and baby. X

My ex MIL refused to acknowledge PND, she accused me of attention seeking, same with the horrific labour & birth & suffering HELLP syndrome & ending up in high dependency after nearly dying, according to her it never happened. The last thing you need when you are suffering from PND is someone trying to tip you even further over the edge, if she won't behave, I would cut her off at least until you are feeling stronger & more able to stand up for yourself.

Keep doing you and baby and making the progress you are. Don’t let the old witch ruin it for you. Cut off contact with her and get your OH to have a not so gentle word with her.

Hugs.

Yes I would cut her off. She's only going to make you feel ten times worse. Cut toxic people out of your life you will beep so much better for it. Good luck.

She's too wicked to have around. She really is a risk to others, unlike you.

Don't make a drama out of it, she'll love that. Just don't invite to family gatherings, and if anyone asks, say 'ugh' - they'll know what you mean.

I'd be making sure that my DH had very stern words with her.

What has your DH said about this?

Neither you nor your child need that toxic shit in your lives. Your husband should have torn strips off her for doing this already and if he hasn’t I’d be extremely disappointed.

Sorry you’ve been having a tough time of it. I expect once you’ve cut her out of your lives you’ll feel a bit better

Hmm yes, cutting her off would not be disproportionate, but what does your OH say? Is he buying into it, because if he's not behind you 100% (and him telling her you have PND could go either way tbh) you will be in for a shit fight, one which you might be better off deferring until you're stronger.

probably a huge backstory to this. I don’t think we have the full story.

It just shows how ignorant your MIL is. If she's not going to be supportive, be away from her and don't care about what other people think. Focus on yourself and your child. Connect to people who bring positivity and kindness to your life and be away from toxic people.
Good luck

Ignore her. Carry on as normal. Her words won't go far when other family members see you behaving normally and that your child is not at risk.

Yes.

She is looking for a reaction from you. Don't give her one.

I hate these evil gossips.

Mine did similar. Husband has tried to talk to her for years about her lying behaviour (always towards us daughter in laws). She's never changed. We don't talk to that poison anymore really.

Thanks for your messages.

Livelovehappy - backstory is MIL has always been a troublemaker, she for God knows what reason delights in spreading untrue stories between various members of the family, relying on the fact nobody wants to confront each other about what they’re meant to have said about each other. I can only think it is because if everyone’s stewing about each other, she looks better somehow (her behaviour over many years has been questionable to say the least. OH and siblings had a traumatic childhood but probably not for me to write about on MN)
she is very used to turning on the tears and getting her way. If anybody calls her out on her actions, she will blacken that persons name. So for example her SIL who was onto her about a few things, MIL will whisper in everyone’s ears how SIL is spending all her brothers money (nothing to do with us!) and how she has apparently said this/apparently said that, when I took exception to all her nasty behaviour she first of all started insinuating she was concerned (genuinely no reason to be concerned! DC is very loved and very well looked after! I have never opened up to her about my PND, so it’s not like I’ve said something which she’s got the wrong end of the stick of and run away with, she’s just a malicious bitch). She then began to whip people up into a frenzy that I was an absolute headcase. We don’t see the rest of the family at all regularly but I would have thought they would know me well enough to know I was desperate to have DC and wouldn’t behave as she is insinuating.
So in answer to your question, that’s the backstory.

Been there and got the T-shirt! Cut off. Shit stirring bitches only make your life a misery and can cause permanent damage to your relationship.

@Gingerninja01 She sounds awful.

How would it work if you cut her off? Would you still allow her to see DC? What does DH think about all of it?

Asking because my PIL are similar towards me. I had mild PNA for a few months, and have been cured for years. They still tell everyone who will listen that I am 'mentally ill' and unfit to parent. DH isn't ready to cut them off, even though he agrees they are hateful and I shouldn't have to put up with it. I don't see them now, but they still see DC and I worry about them saying awful things about me to DC which will confuse them.

I am thinking about barring them from seeing DC but it will cause WW3

Thanks for your message. Can I ask how you did it? And did she leave you alone afterwards?