MY ex won’t wont leavens alone

[Charlie09]

So I really just want some advice or explanation of what’s going on here as I’m driving myself mad analysing it all.
I went total no contact with my Ex around 4 weeks ago (after he lied to the police saying I was harassing him after telling his gf he had cheated on her.. despite him turning at my house at 2.30am and calling me 20 times a day 🙄).

Anyways.. I realised I needed to properly set boundaries. He tried calling a couple of times during no contact and I didn’t pick up. He tried to hack my Facebook. He sent messages like ‘chgjjjgyjn’ (not actual words) from our sons WhatsApp when he had him over (I knew it was him as it was 11pm).
After getting no reactions or rises out of me I didn’t hear anything from him.
THEN Wednesday I was off work advice our boy was ill. He knew he was home as I told his sister he didn’t need to pick him up from school (she is the third party contact I use if I need to communicate about the kids). At around 2.30pm I hear him at the door. Bringing our dog back.
I Opened the door with my back turned to let the dog in. He then asks if he can have a quick drink of water. I stupidly just nodded. Anyways.. as soon as he’s in he’s saying ‘you turn me on’ etc and do I want to have sex?! I told him to go to his gf. I then also exploded about the police thing and asked if he had any guilt or remorse etc and he said he did. I told him that’s BS.
He then keeps trying it on saying he ‘misses that’ (not me).. he still fancies me... he has wanted to call me loads and occasionally has feelings for me and has been times he’s wanted to leave his gf and come back.
I said he’ll say anything for sex. So I continued to say no. Then before he left said ‘that’s all I’m good for anyways’.

So... what the hell?! Oh he also kind of admitted he wants it to be that he’s with his gf but carries on having sex with me!! He clearly can’t be getting much out of his 8 month relationship? And to still be wanting sex with his ex and still fancying his ex etc?!
And he wants to introduce our kids to her.. but why when he clearly doesn’t know what he wants and can’t be serious about her despite what his crazy mind thinks! I think he’s only after her money ! Surely their rs wont last if he’s clearly not attracted to her?
Someone tell me what the hell is going on in his crazy head? He can never quite let me go. It’s like he always wants me there as a friend he can talk to and have sex with but then go off and be with other women?!
I would never agree to have sex with himbit drives me mad his gf has no clue what he’s doing and he makes out I’m the crazy ex and I’m the one having to live with his irrational behaviour!

He wants you to do the pick me dance. He wants you to boost his ego. So dont. Why was he bringing the dog back? Dont allow contact for anything other than your ds. Google grey rock. He is testing your boundaries to see what he can get away with.

Dont waste any headspace on his relationship. It is not your problem. Its not your resppnsibilty.

He is just an entitled idiot who wants as many women as possible giving him attention. You are giving him head space. Don't. You need to completely disengage. You seem to have got the right procedures in place but now stick to them. Move on to better things!

He probably did all these things whilst you and he were together, in some form or another.
Let his girlfriend waste time trying to make sense of him, although its really very simple.
Toddler in an adult body.

I think that’s what upsets me.. is that he clearly did this in the 14 years we were together. There were so many times things didn’t add up and he had an affair when I was pregnant. It makes me feel sick that he thinks so little of me to make me the other woman or even want me to be. He has pictures of me he won’t delete and he lies saying he had but on Wednesday he said he always still looks at them.
Is the man I loved for 14 years? I feel like he’s totally not normal and why he’s so obsessive with his new gf?!
He also said ‘I know I could have you back whenever I want, tomorrow, now’.. I said I wouldn’t have him back but he truly thinks I would. This is why he happily goes about in his new rs and when it fucks U.K. he thinks he can come running back.
I just wish I could get away from him properly. His gf is just as bad as he is.. they’re both so egotistical and she loves it when he’s attacking me.
I will go back to total no contact as ever since Wednesday .. despite me saying no, he still came to the door this morning when he picked the kids up and he tried ringing me 8 times yesterday and left a voice message saying it was urgent about the kids. It’s likd he’s trying to push down all the boundaries I’ve set up. He refuses to communicate via his sister but if needed I’ll still only ever go through her. I feel I’ve been going around in circles for 9 months and my mind can’t take it. I don’t feel like I can move on or live my life. I feel so overwhelmed and anxious with it all but o certainly won’t give in to him as I’m stronger than that now even if I’m dying Inside,