Shall I finally end my difficult relationship?

[Kmb4444]

My relationship with OH has been a rollercoaster for too long. the last 5 years have become increasingly difficult, it was good to start 3+ years but recently my resentment has increased that I’m struggling to keep it in check & I’ve become increasingly irritable. At the outset he was a motivated, caring, supportive person. Since then so many things have happened due to his irresponsible actions.
3 court cases for drink related incidents (2 driving) this makes him unreliable within our business, often works when it suits him etc. He has been a big drinker since I knew him which steadily got worse to becoming dependent. We've tried professional help but he gave up despite promising me he would do it. My friends & family & even his own family tell me they’re amazed at how I’ve stuck it so long. Yesterday I flipped out big time, not proud of my outburst but it was like a switch had flicked! I’ m struggling mainly with being so overworked/my thyroid meds have just been adjusted too so I’m not at my best. I’ve explained all that to him hoping for a bit of support/understanding. I feel sad as I’ve been so supportive with his drink issues/loss of his father/guilt etc. Now I just need a bit of support back & all I’m getting is ‘take your tablets’ ‘see someone to get help’ says I’m not a nice person & scary to be around. At no point has he tried to understand that my behavior is mainly as a result of built up resentment within our relationship.
I’m not like it with anyone else, his denial & ability to blame me is beyond belief. Should I just give up & move forward for mine & my kids sanity?

What do you get out of this relationship now?. What is in this still for you?.

You cannot act as either a rescuer or saviour in a relationship, neither approach works. Give up and move forward for yours and your kids sanity.

This is no environment to be raising them in either and being with him has not done you any good either. You're simply enabling him by being with him at all now. Read up on codependency in relationships and see how much of this fits in with your own behaviours to date re him.

I think you already know the answer to this in your heart, so you need to start planning carefully how to extricate yourself.

You don't mention any DCs but I'm a bit concerned about the comment "within our business", which hints at some significant complications to overcome.

Good luck

Sorry, you do mention DCs - so even more careful planning to maintain your home and livelihood. You will need a lawyer.

He is an addict acting in his illness. He won't change until he wants to, and what motivation does he have when what he's doing right now is working for him? All you can do, if you stay with him, is to continue to either enable or nag. You have to decide whether you can do that.

Do you have a branch of Al-Anon near you, or another help group for families of addicts? They've been where you are and will help you to decide what you want to do.

My sympathies. It's a hard decision to have to make.

Your points are very valid & I’ve asked myself those questions today. At the moment I get him working at his pace, so that’s far from ideal (he says it all gets done eventually but the stress caused for me along the way isn’t worth it). But I could simply employ a reliable person. I will read up on co dependency, many thanks

ThatLibraryMiss - I agree, with his work/life pattern then he has many opportunities to carry on as he is. As time has gone by I can admit to sometimes enabling him as anyone living like this will know you get to a point where you just want an easy life.