Unplanned first pregnancy

[Beeb00p]

I really need some advice. I am early twenties and just found out I am pregnant. Father is mid twenties. We’re not together, we were friends and then dated on/off for a few months until I ended it due to not having strong enough feelings for him to progress further, although he is lovely and would have made a nice boyfriend.

I am so confused what to do. I have a career but don’t earn loads and have quite abit of debt. I want a baby in future but I wanted a husband, house etc. I don’t want to be pregnant or a mum now, but I don’t want an abortion either. I keep thinking what if this is my only chance to have a baby. I know women older than me desperate for kids who can’t have them for various reasons. I feel so embarrassed to be in this situation and the thought of going forwards pregnant and single with everyone asking just makes me want to cry.

I have not spoken to the dad yet as I wanted to clear my mind first. My first instinct was to keep it but I feel I would be ruining my own life if I did that. I have also not seen a doctor or anything but I guess the chance of two false positive tests is relatively low...

Please help :( if I could flip a switch and this would go away I would, so is abortion my answer?

Take a little time and try out both options in your head for a bit. I know that I was extremely against abortion for myself (pro choice though).....till I realised it was my only way out. It was a gift in the end and I’ve never ever ever ever regretted it. You should see where I am now. My kind and trustworthy DH (love of my life) is making me breakfast in bed and my 4 small kids are happily playing nearby. The sun is shining and the view from my dream house is gorgeous. My work is good and well paid and family friendly. I feel so so lucky. If I’d gone ahead then in my early 20’s life might be fine but I couldn’t have been the mum I wanted to be tied to that father. It would have been messy, complicated and hit my career hard. And I really wanted a stable family set up to have children.

It was a gift for me to have that out.

Only you can decide but maybe take more time to think before opening the door to your partners opinion on this.

A friend of mine was in this situation at a similar age to you. We're now in our thirties and discussed it recently. Whilst she still thinks about her abortion and how old the child would have been, she 100% believes she made the right choice.
I think you need to look at how you see yourself in the future and go from there. If you can see yourself being a mum now but being essentially a single mother than go with it. If it isn't your plan then there are options you can explore. I also think you should discuss it with the father if you have a good relationship. If you don't want his input though then ultimately it is your choice.