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Original poster

Is one of us being tight?

34 replies

Fluffsters · 10/05/2019 22:12

A few months back my bf asked if I wanted to go to a concert with him and his kids. I said yes thinking he wanted me to go with him. (I don’t remember if I offered him money to cover my ticket).

Fast forward a few months and he still hadn’t booked the tickets. Meantime we’d been to a couple of less expensive concerts that I’d booked and paid for. (He didn’t offer to pay for his tickets at the time, but did offer to pay for his ticket for one of the concerts that took place more recently).

We were out a few weeks ago in the pub and the concert (he wanted to go to with me and his kids) came up in conversation. He said he still hadn’t booked tickets. I offered to give him money for my ticket and he said that would be great.

The next day, and days thereafter, he didn’t book the tickets and I didn’t offer him any money!

Last week he asked me if I wanted to go and I said no. He didn’t ask me why. He’s since gone ahead and booked tickets for him and his kids.

I thought he asked me to go out with him and his kids because he wanted me there with him. But it seems that wasn’t the case!

Neither of us has a lot of money. He’s taken me out for a meal once. I certainly don’t expect him to pay for everything. I definitely pay my way. We don’t live together.

Should I have just paid for my ticket so I could’ve gone with him and his kids?

OP posts:
LordNibbler · 10/05/2019 22:29

Maybe he was waiting for you to offer to pay for everyone? And when that wasn't forthcoming he just paid for him and the kids. Some people take more than they give.

Boysey45 · 10/05/2019 22:30

Sounds very strange,so you pay for him but he wont treat you.
I'd have a honest conversation with him about fairness, if you paid for all those other concerts then surely he should have then paid for you.Sounds like he was wanting you to pay again this time for him and his kids!!!! What a cheek.

I'd dump him.

TheGodmother · 10/05/2019 22:31

Yup ... def sounds as if he was waiting for you to buy all the tickets! How long have you been with him?

Expressedways · 10/05/2019 22:35

He didn’t book you a ticket because you said no when he asked if you still wanted to go. If you still wanted to go, why didn’t you say so Confused

That said, it seems unfair that he’s accepted concert tickets from you but has only taken you out to dinner the once, and didn’t offer to pay for this ticket given you paid previously. He does sound like he’s tight.

HollowTalk · 10/05/2019 22:38

It doesn't sound very enjoyable, OP. He's determined not to spend a penny on you, isn't he?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 10/05/2019 22:51

I have to agree with the PP who said he's determined not to spend a penny on you. Sad

Who cooks and pays for dinner when you see each other?

Casmama · 10/05/2019 23:02

This sounds like pretty hard work and if you are in a relationship then I don't really understand why you don't discuss it with him.

I can't see how you are possibly being tight but if he is I suspect this is unlikely to be the only example of it.

Hecateh · 10/05/2019 23:06

NO! I wouldn't

Redshoeblueshoe · 10/05/2019 23:08

One of you is being tight
( I don't think it's you)

SkinnyPete · 10/05/2019 23:14

Errm... You both should have still discussed if you were paying for you're own ticket at the time. Communication failure.

TinselAndKnickers · 11/05/2019 00:11

How come you said no if you still wanted to go? But I agree, sounds like a lot of hard work and he is a putter offer!

Singletomingle · 11/05/2019 00:17

At first glance hes tight but there is always the chance that he waited until he had the money to book it. He did ask if you wanted to go and you said no its not like he's a mind reader and should have booked a ticket for someone who didn't want one.

MumsyJ · 11/05/2019 02:42

Whilst reading through, I was waiting for the part that read " the tickets sold out due to his delay tactic ". I don't blame you for saying you're not attending in the end as I would have also lost interest given the way he went about it Hmm

Yup he's being a tight git. Takes but doesn't give. The concert was his idea for godsakes, was he expecting you to foot the bill for all?Confused

YesimstillwatchingNetflix · 11/05/2019 04:56

Doesn't sound like much fun to me. At best he's disorganised and flakey enough to invite you to a concert but then not deliver. At worst he's cheap & lazy and was hoping you'd book and pay for everyone's tickets.

It would be a real turn off for me, I hate stinginess in people.

Original poster
Fluffsters · 11/05/2019 09:19

Thank you all for your replies.

Agree that commication between us is somewhat lacking in the finance department.

I don't know if he expected me to pay for all the tickets. It became clear that there was no way he was going to book & pay for us all though.

Neither of us are flush, but I know he got some extra cash from flogging some second hand stuff.

Appreciate it's just my side of things being posted. Way I see it is that if he really wanted me to go with him, he would've got the tickets months ago when he first mentioned it.

My worst fear is that he is a stingy one. (My ex was and that was one of many reasons why our relationship ended).

OP posts:
Original poster
Fluffsters · 11/05/2019 09:22

Sorry, just realised I've not answered questions. We've been together about six months.

We only ever spend time together at my place as he moved back home when his marriage ended four years ago.

I shop and cook. He has occasionally bought a few things and usually does the washing up.

OP posts:
MeanMrMustardSeed · 11/05/2019 09:25

He sounds like a freeloader.

Jog22 · 11/05/2019 09:46

Living at his parents 4 years after splitting up? Doesn't he want his own place? How often does he have his kids? Handy having his mum there to take over inconvenient childcare responsibilities - are his parents fed up with him? Are you being auditioned to be their replacement?

(Feeling a bit cynical this morning)

YesimstillwatchingNetflix · 11/05/2019 10:41

He doesn't sound like a winner TBH OP.

If he's low on funds he should be proposing and planning low cost dates, not suggesting concerts he can't afford and then not taking you along!

It sounds like you're responsible for funding and coordinating your dates, if most of them are you cooking your own food at your home. Doesn't he ever even just bring ingredients to cook for you?

What are his good qualities?

MoonGeek · 11/05/2019 11:10

Freeloader. Probably hoping to advance to cocklodger.

HollowTalk · 11/05/2019 11:42

He should be washing up if you're cooking, but the bill for food should be split if he's always at your place.

It just sounds grim and unromantic. If you hated being with your ex who was tight, I think you're going to hate being with this one, too.

Original poster
Fluffsters · 11/05/2019 13:38

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Jog22

He does want his own place. He’s paying off debt and pays maintenance. Has his kids every second weekend. I don’t know if his parents are fed up... I sincerely hope I’m not a replacement in waiting!

Yesimstill...

He doesn’t bring ingredients unless I specifically ask. His good qualities are that he can be romantic. He tells me I’m wonderful and that he loves me. We enjoy each other’s company. He’s a loving dad and good with my son.

Perhaps if we had an honest conversation about money and paying for things that would help.

OP posts:
RantyAnty · 11/05/2019 13:59

freeloader looking to be promoted to cocklodger

How old are his kids?

romantic...I take it that means sex and a few kind words is a very low bar.

BumbleBeee69 · 11/05/2019 14:59

he's a free loading cocklodging tight arsed git.

how many times did he ask you if you wanted to go to the Concert but he didn't book the tickets, but you say no just once and he rushed off and books the tickets, call me suspicious but he didn't want to pay for your ticket, even though you offered to pay already. He's a cheap tight horrible lose that it using you OP Flowers

BumbleBeee69 · 11/05/2019 15:00

You're wonderful because your feeding him and letting him sleep over and sex is on tap, and he chucks you a few compliments... he's a loser Flowers

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