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Original poster

Partners ex wife

17 replies

lovemylkids43 · 10/05/2019 21:01

My partner was married for five years to his ex wife 12 years ago .. he is still married and not divorced this is due to a complication as he does not have a marriage certificate and was married in Thailand to a Thai national .. she now lives in London as she came to the UK after they married the relationship lasted 5 years ..

Me and my partner have been together nearly 5 years and have a 2 year old son .. my partner has no other children ..

Well tonight out of the blue is ex wife tings him on Facebook messenger but he cut her offf as my mum was around .. he later told me it was her .. she has FaceTimed him many of times but don't know why ? I mean one time she rang him at two in the morning ..

I often feel if she feels comfortable enough to FaceTime him is he chatting to her during the day whilst at work ..

Any thoughts or am I overthinking things

I know this is bad but he once mentioned her name during intimate times whilst very drunk this was around two years ago

Other thank this we are happy

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 10/05/2019 22:05

does he want a Divorce ? Hmm

Original poster
lovemylkids43 · 10/05/2019 22:08

He says he wants a divorce but never gets around to it or makes it a priority he says he can't afford to get the money together but yet he's on a good wage and has a good disposable income

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 10/05/2019 22:13

He's speaking to her frequently enough to ask right ? so he really doesn't want a divorce does he ? if there are no assets or kids then what the issue ? Hmm

janeybumtum · 10/05/2019 22:18

Getting a divorce shouldn't be that difficult. The marriage is either valid or completely invalid here. If it is valid, then a solicitor should be capable of sorting out the divorce. Lots of people get married abroad and will end up needing a divorce at some point, it's not like it's never happened before. I'm not sure what his problem is. Is he apathetic towards important things that need to be done generally?

ArnoldBee · 10/05/2019 22:22

Yeah I can see why he doesn't get it sorted...thailand-uk.com/forums/showthread.php?19404-Lost-Marriage-Certificate

Also would she get deported?

SapatSea · 10/05/2019 22:44

Has he made provision for yourself and child (e.g. in a will). If he is still married to her then as his next of kin she would have a claim on inheritance if he dies without a will. She could also have a claim on assets, such as your house etc. He needs to get this sorted. Is he still emotionally attached to her? Are you worried he is not committed to you and your DC and does not want to marry you?

BumbleBeee69 · 10/05/2019 22:53

So your Title is misleading.. She is still very much his WIFE not his Ex-Wife ?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 10/05/2019 22:55

why does she keep face timing him?

BumbleBeee69 · 10/05/2019 23:34

It sounds like she still turns to him 'her husband' whenever she needs to talk ? She and He are not respecting the boundaries of Your relationship OP. Flowers

llangennith · 11/05/2019 00:13

So your Title is misleading.. She is still very much his WIFE not his Ex-Wife ?

Irrelevant re the OP's problem. Try and keep up.

MumsyJ · 11/05/2019 02:22

Calling another woman's name during intimacy? I'd slap his mouth to sobriety!

I think you need to find out the reason behind this constant calls from him. Is she ready for divorce or are they trying to rekindle their romance? Does she know he's in a serious relationship and has got a child too?

You're not overthinking it if everything is blur, probe deep until you get a peace of mind response. By the way, tell him to take the call whenever she rings whilst you're all at home. His reaction will definitely give you the answer you need.

Aquamarine1029 · 11/05/2019 02:31

You have a huge problem.

Original poster
lovemylkids43 · 11/05/2019 08:47

She won't get deported she has indefinite leave to remain now well after 5 years of being married and like I say they have been separated for around 12 years ... he got married when he was 23 when he met her in Thailand it was more of a marriage of convenience so she could return to the UK but she left him after 5 years .. I've checked out if he can't obtain a marriage certificate he can apply for D11 and give reasons for not having one which will be heard when is divorce is heard and as they are both here in the UK it should be straight forward .. they have no children together and she phones him every now and ten but FaceTimes him ( unless they speak when I'm not around ) I don't know as I don't check phones or things like that .. ( should I ? )

He said this morning he was being honest with me and told me she phoned him ( I was there when the phone ) he said I make h feel like he's done something wrong and he gets nervous .. hahaha ! I am the most trusting person.. I mean she phoned him at 2 am in the morning last year .. I didn't moan it escalate and like I said when he was really drunk he said her name during intimate times and I give him the benefit of the doubt he doesn't answer her calls in front of me ... any other women would be fucked off surely !

I have a child with him .. he works in construction and self employed .. if he has an accident or god forbid anything happens to him .. would she be classed as his next of kin and beneficiary.. what about his son ?? She still uses his surname on her passport ....

I just don't know it makes me more distance from him because I feel less of a priority when I do all and everything for him and have been his rock for the past nearly 5 years ....

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 11/05/2019 12:59

I have a child with him .. he works in construction and self employed .. if he has an accident or god forbid anything happens to him .. would she be classed as his next of kin and beneficiary.. what about his son ?? She still uses his surname on her passport....

Yes she is his Wife, he needs to sort this. Flowers

JenniferJareau · 11/05/2019 15:50

He says he wants a divorce but never gets around to it

Then he clearly doesn't want a divorce.

Please wake up and smell the coffee

InTheHeatofLisbon · 11/05/2019 15:52

If a divorce was a priority for him, he'd have done it by now.

Also, why are they still face timing each other? Very odd, divorce talks can be done via regular phone calls or texts.

He's hedging his bets.

category12 · 11/05/2019 16:04

If he dies intestate, according to the Citizens Advice website, the wife would inherit everything if his estate is less than £250K.
She'd inherit and your ds would get half of his estate after the first £250K if if it's worth more.

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