In love with the dad

[Feelsweird]

I only joined on a friend's recommendation.
I am so confused.
I am godmother to my friends' children. I worked with and became very good friends with the Dad about 15 years ago just as they were getting married. Love her. great friends.
She's had an affair about 2 years ago and I they have now divorced. Still keep in touch with both but met the Dad a few weeks ago whilst I was having fun with my godchildren.
Things have escalated.
I feel smitten (I am in my 40s and am single)
I really feel I want to have a relationship with him. But I am so worried that this will mess up a lovely relationship with my godchildren and my friends.
Gosh that was longer than expected and I know that MN likes brevity.

Bumped into him this morning (not unusual, we often go to the gym at the same time on Saturday) and I think I've worked out why he's suddenly become so weirdly attractive (to me at least).
He was really broken when the marriage ended. Sofa surfing, not taking care of himself, but he's recently bought a new flat (moved in last week) and it's like his spark is back. He just doesn't seem so sad.
My tummy flips every time I think of him (I have turned into a teenager)
To the poster who cautioned about the godchildren, I think that's what I'm worried about. I love them dearly and would not want to mess things up with them. Having said that, the youngest did say a few weeks ago that daddy needs a nice lady to take care of him!
I am conflicted and won't rush into anything. Have been invited to visit new flat though. Tried to act casual, not sure how kind I can keep up the nonchalance

Nearly 4bn men in the world and this is the one you have to have? Please. Find someone else. It's tawdry and cringe and could really screw things up with your relationship with your godchildren. He's just flirting, you sound desperate and like you're throwing yourself at him.

Gosh Pataya and Italian's posts are both quite harsh (sorry Pataya, I hadn't seen your post before I posted earlier, possibly over-excited)
I am not desperate. I am very happily single and very much confused by how I feel. I absolutely love this guy. We had the best working years of our lives together. I have never remotely felt attracted to him. (We work in a very intense industry where you need to trust people to have your back, I have. Always).
I will never jeapordise my bond with the girls. We have been through too much together. I don't have to justify myself but I have been an awesome godmother and took care of them during the worst of the break up because the adults were rubbish.
My confusion arose because my friend has suddenly become very attractive.
I suspect I will take time and swallow these feelings.
I feel sad about it.
Also, this my first post as I mentioned before, and words like tawdry and incestuous have really hurt. I was warned that MN can be harsh. Most of you have been kind and I thank you.

Life is short. Be sensitive. Be kind. But don’t have regrets.

What ages are the children? If they are youngish they might find it easier to accept. I think teens might struggle a bit.
at ‘a nice lady to look after him’

A family friend married her husband’s best friend some time after she was widowed. Her son, an adult at the time with his own children, finds it really hard to accept, even though many of us feel that the husband would be comforted to know they were not alone.

The children will grow up and understand. If you auve been lucky enough to find a man you love
Go and love hard. Life is short x

You only regret things you don’t try.

Take your time, take it easy but do take it!

They are 8 and 6. I think the nice lady comment comes from her thinking her Dad is sad. I must find some appropriate reading for her!
I am having them for tea this week. Will ponder and think seriously. Girls before the man. I know.

That saying- you miss 100% of the shots you don't take- cringe but so true. Go for it. If you don't ask, you won't know.

The main issue would be if it didn’t work out. Then you’ve lost a lot.

I would be very careful

I really think that you will live to regret nor pursuing this, OP. So, what's the worst that can happen? Some awkwardness with the dad. The girls are independent of all this. Soon, they will be teens.
The only circumstance I'd caution against this in is if there is very deeply committed religion on either or both your parts. I think that would make things very different.

Also, this my first post as I mentioned before, and words like tawdry and incestuous have really hurt. I was warned that MN can be harsh.

Some people on here are judgemental in a way that people aren’t in real life. I would ignore them!

If you think you could have something serious with him then why not?

I agree with previous people who’ve said to take it slow and see where things go.

Life is too short to let a shot at love pass you by.