A question about violence to the wise women on here

[WhyNotMe40]

Just something I've been mulling over.
I read on here that as soon as there is any violence the advice is to leave as they never change and it will only get worse.
But I have lost my temper with my kids on occasion and shouted, or grabbed and removed from a situation perhaps more roughly than I should have. And once I even slapped my eldest on the legs when she was 2 year old.
So I have been violent against my child. But it has never happened again and every time a situation crops up that pushes my buttons I am getting better and better at not getting shouty, being patient etc. So actually the violence didn't escalate. I have improved my parenting, and noone suggested I leave my kids never to return after I slapped a leg. I was deeply ashamed and have ensured it never happened again (and in mitigation I was horrendously sleep deprived)
So why do we say that our male partners can never improve, that it will always escalate and they can never change?
What's the difference?

OP, I think you're spot on when you say it is about control. Some men believe they have the right to control women by any means including violence. These men are abusive and will always blame the woman for their violence. Changing their beliefs about women and taking responsibility is extremely unlikely.
Parents believe they have the right to control children in order to keep them safe, discipline them. In extreme frustration this too can lead to violence. You have recognised this, taken responsibility and worked on changing it because you are a caring parent. An abusive person wouldn't do this as their aim is to have power over a woman in order to feel superior.