Oh FFS

[OldSpeclkledHen]

think am going through a break up, we've not actually discussed it like the adults we supposedly are, but things have been shitty lately. He said "we want different things"

We were supposed to be meeting tonight, but he's just cancelled.

I do however think he's depressed...
Bereavement last year, first anniversary later this month.

Should I ignore his text and just go over anyway - get it over and done with? We need to talk properly face to face.

Or arrange another day (knowing that he'll cancel anyway?)

We are (supposed) to be going away next Thursday, I've paid for it and told him he can go on his own (losing the money not ideal but grand scheme of things 🙄) but earlier this week he asked if I was going with him? I don't really care either way now, but need to organise animal care if yes.

I just really want to give him a hug. No connotation, just as friends, I just wished I knew best course of action...

you're putting alot of effort into someone who is treating you like shit OP. I certainly wouldn't be gifting him the paid trip either.

I'd stop contacting him and consider this over now, and go on that trip yourself.

How long have you been together?

What were things like before the bereavement?

What made him say you wanted different things?

Did he say why he was cancelling tonight?

Take the trip yourself. It sounds as though he's checked out of the relationship but hasn't got the balls to tell you. Charming.

you're putting alot of effort into someone who is treating you like shit OP. I certainly wouldn't be gifting him the paid trip either.

Exactly this.

He's treating you really badly and you are running around after him. Now you're going to give him the holiday?! Why on earth would you do that?

Text back sayin it's over and you'll be taking the trip without him. Then block him.

No you go on the holiday with a friend or yourself and leave him too it.

As per other PPs, depression and bereavement aren't excuses to treat someone like crap. And I say that as someone who battles depression and have had two close bereavements this year. Go on the trip, enjoy it, and draw a line under the relationship. You don't deserve any nonsense.

All we know is that he’s said they want different things and cancelled tonight’s date. It hardly makes him a dreadful person fgs.

it's not his cancelling that's the issue, it's OP response to him cancelling. He wants to break up, she gives him a paid holiday ? why would you do that for someone who is treating you so awfully ?