Can cheaters change???

[Miimii786]

Hi ladies!
I really need advice....
To cut the long story short I caught my husband having an affair 3 months after we got married! Once I caught him red handed he had a panic attack and I have never seen him so sad. He swears he was feeling guilty already for cheating and had decided to cut it out before I found out.
But can a cheater change?
Whenever I bring up the topic about him cheating he can’t take it. He starts having panic attacks where he starts crying or gets extremely angry explaining himself. He never use to have such a bad anger before this incident, it’s like this incident kills him inside when I bring it up! But I can’t help it!
I never ever thought he would be he type to cheat.... we went through to such just to be together!
What shall I do...? :( how do I forgive and forget?

You exposing his cheating means that he can't tell himself he's a "good guy" anymore. You pulled him from the script of denial in his head into reality.

What you are getting from him is a reaction to shame not guilt!

Absolutely classic gas lighting. Reading your post he has done a good job of it.
Please see this for what it is

I would not say to someone to leave because their boyfriend has cheated. Now if it is causing you unbearable pain, leave. However I said to my boyfriend if he ever cheated, I would do it too so he can see what it feels like. That is a thing you can so. Show him what his behaviour is like. A third thing that you can do is accept that he can make a mistake and think can you try again. Really feel from your gut instinct what is best for you

Boyfriend or husband

He isn't sorry he had the affair. He's sorry you found out.

He's annoyed that you keep on bringing it up and won't just get over it and move on, because that is what he wants. It's all about him. It will always be all about him.

You are just the housekeeper. He isn't going to change because he has no need to. He doesn't care about you (THREE MONTHS!), never has. Never will care about any woman.

His persona up to now was a lie to lure you in, and if you look back carefully on your relationship you will see that. The monster is the real him.

Only stay married if this horrible person (who has utter contempt for you - otherwise he'd be fighting to save the relationship rather than shutting you down over HIS complete betrayal of you)) is what you want.

I think you are worth more.
www.chumplady.com