Myself and my husband have not been getting on very well since the birth of our daughter who is now two. We’re fairly sure I had PND but never sought and help and I originally put a lot of problems down to this. However, since overcoming my feelings of PND things have not improved. We don’t communicate well, argue over the slightest thing and there is very little affection.
About 6 months ago I said I would like to start trying for another baby but my husband said no. He thought we needed to spend some time enjoying life as a family of 3 first since the first year had been so difficult and sleep deprived. He also didn’t think our relationship was in a good enough place for the stress of another baby. This all sounds perfectly reasonable on paper and I started making more of an effort with our relationship. However, it doesn’t feel like anything has changed. We had an argument last night and my husband casually mentioned that we don’t have anything in common any more. This really upset me and I don’t understand what he means. Obviously we don’t do all of the things that we did before having our daughter but surely that’s the case for all parents?
Anyway, I feel like I’m stuck in limbo with someone who is judging every thing I do and say. It’s like the worst kind of probation. If I’m not the perfect wife and mother I don’t get to have another baby. I’m the wrong side of 35 so I’m finding it quite stressful.
I think couples counseling is our last resort but I don’t know anything about how it works. Has anyone here done it before? Is it the right option for us? What will it involve? And can anyone recommend a counsellor in central London?