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I cant trust my partner

3 replies

daydream2019 · 09/05/2019 21:44

Hey I'm new to this and would like some advice please. I'm with my fiance over 4 years. At the start of our relationship everything was fine. Until I snooped through his phone after he went through mine..anyway I saw he was texting other girls. Being kind of flirty. And I pulled him on it. Ever since I pulled him on it he hasn't done it since. Anyway from that moment I never trusted him. Even though I never saw anything again since. But I cant stop snooping through his phone since. I know its wrong of me but I cant help it. I suffer with anxiety and I just want to make sure he isn't doing what he did again to me.... it's sad I know but I cant help myself. I dont see him texting other girls or anything but I see he deletes silly things from his friends. Like porn etc. I keep telling him the more he deletes things from me I will never trust him. But yet he still does it cause his excuse was if I saw it I would go "mad" and he wanted to avoid an argument. The other day I was snooping again and see he deleted messages to a friend. So I confronted him and asked him. He denied he deleted anything at first but then he came out and told me he did. He was talking to a female friend who is about to have a child..he was telling her intimate details about me for not being able to have kids and IVF etc. Again he said he deleted it cause if I saw he was discussing details about me I would go "mad". I literally have enough and the way he is I cant trust him. I keep asking myself what is he deleting again and is there more I'm unaware of. He knows it really bothers me as we had multiple arguments over it and I told him how i felt and how it's so untrustworthy. I dont delete anything from him so why is he doing it to me..i feel lost and i feel I'm wasting my time. Also he has kids from previous relationships too..I dont. He is older than me. I feel like I'm wasting my time..any advice would be great x

OP posts:
PhannyPharts · 10/05/2019 10:10

You don't trust him. You feel like you're wasting your time. You have had enough.

If I were him, I would be walking away too because I wouldn't tolerate someone constantly checking my phone. I've been on the other end of that, I wasn't doing anything wrong but my partner at the time was reading something in to every single message. They made my life miserable.

Only one thing to advise really and that's to end the relationship. Its not healthy for either of you, But then deep down you know that I think?

hellsbellsmelons · 10/05/2019 10:12

This is a duplicate thread.

thelastgoldeneagle · 10/05/2019 10:12

What Phanny said.

If there's no trust, you don't have anything.

I wouldn't put up with a partner going through my phone.

And it doesn't sound like the relationship is bringing you any joy at all. Time to move on.

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