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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DS Miscarriage- will the pain ever go away?

3 replies

jazztonic · 09/05/2019 17:28

I apologies if this post is upsetting to those who have suffered similar. My DS has suffered various miscarriages and losses when she was in her twenties, maybe thirties. I was too young to realise or understand at the time as there is a big age gap between us and she lived in her own house when she got married; later I went to boarding school. Many years have passed and I have 2 children of my own, my brothers and their families also have children. Even one of my nieces has children by now. My sister is 53 now and still whenever she gets upset about something she gets “angry/upset” “because she doesn’t have children”. I am not even sure if that’s the right way to describe it.
I will give some examples. I am sure there are more incidents but these are some of the more recent I can remember:
My brother married late, meet his wife when he was in his late fourties, second marriage for his wife and she brought 3 children into the marriage. Apparently she had some treatment reversed so they could have a child together. By that time my brother was 50. When the baby was born my sister came to the christening but was very angry at SIL. Always avoiding them even they live practically next door to each other. When the little girl was around 3 and they coincided at my mums on mothers day; my mum said to the little girls. “Look that’s your aunty” to which my sister said; ”I am no aunt to her” and stormed off.
Whenever my mum says anything about me half complementary DS will have a fit accusing me of being the favourite “because I have children”.
At Easter my kids (they were 8 and 10 at that time) and my second brothers children (who are in their twenties already) played cards again at my mums house. My sister walks in to wish happy Easter. My kids didn’t immediately jump up and run to her (they were in the middle of a game) and sees my brother, wife and baby daughter sitting around the table with us. She immediately leaves and says on the way out, I had a long day at work and need to see my InLaws. She then sends me a message saying “Tell DD (my daughter) that I can’t come to her upcoming communion as I am not important anyway. Others are more important to them”.

Sorry for being so long winded; what I essentially want to get to: Will it ever stop hurting? She doesn’t talk about any losses. My mum probably wasn’t very helpful when she went through the pregnancy losses. Maybe she never talked about it then. It is difficult to navigate around her, always having to be careful what to say (for example about other babies in the family).
I definitely understand that she must hurt. But is it really normal to keep reacting to other (usually family members) women having children in this way?

OP posts:
ANewDawn10 · 09/05/2019 19:10

I feel sorry for her. It sounds like she is deeply traumatized by what happened and the fact that everywhere she turns she sees all of you with children. Children she never got to have. I'm not sure if anyone could do anything to help her unless she decides to go for counselling. Sounds like a tough situation for all.

FuriousVexation · 09/05/2019 19:24

Infertility is really fucking hard. I spent over 10 years TTC before being told that I would never conceive naturally oh and BTW you're not eligible for IVF on the NHS and it's only got a 1/10 chance of helping you even if you go private.

It took me several years to come to terms with not being able to have biological children. Even though I have an incredibly close bond with my DS, who is my late H's child from his ex wife (she walked away when DS was 3) the primal urge to procreate was still there.

At early/mid 50s your sister is probably going through menopause and starting to accept there are not going to be any last minute miracles for her. She may find any interaction with children very painful.

Have you ever talked to her directly about the subject? From a position of "I can't imagine what youre going through but I know it must be very painful. How can I help?"

Please have a read of various articles out there on the interwebs "What not to say to someone who has infertility"
Hearing
"It'll happen when you're ready!"
"It'll happen if you just relax and stop trying"
"My friends were 98 and 104 and suddenly got caught!"
"Have you tried tracking your cycle?"
is just fucking soul destroying.

jazztonic · 10/05/2019 09:07

Thank you very much for your replies. I will look at the articles you have recommended Furious. Yes I have tried to talk to her but she inmediately blocks and gets agressive. I believe she never had any councelling. When I suggested she should go and find a counselor she flipped and got angry because I said shes crazy and needs to see a phsycologist. It´s so hard to deal with; continuously being careful what to say. Its silly, but my now 10 and 12 year olds know not to mention that they have been at my brothers house playing with their cousin.

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