Am I stupid for thinking this way?

[Rspu1384]

I’m late 20s and my husband is 30 this year, we’ve been together for 8-9 years, before he met me he was with another woman for 2-3 years. She cheated on him and got pregnant with another mans child while they were still together, my husband knows the child isn’t his as they stopped sleeping together a few months before. He has always wanted children, and from his ex getting pregnant found out he was infertile as they had been trying through most of their relationship and she thought the problem had lied with her up until she cheated and got pregnant. Me and my husband need ivf for his male factor infertility. I love him and he is also my best friend, we are close and adore each other. I can’t help but feel it’s not about him wanting a child with me he just basically wants a child. I got pregnant with an ex when I was a lot younger and got a termination as my ex was a bastard and I didn’t want a child with him, I was also too young. I’ve never regretted it and had a few relationships but I never wanted children with any of the others until i met my now husband.
I feel I have to go through treatment and I’ve been emotionally drained and depressed the past year since finding out we will only have a baby through ivf and then it might not work.
For someone who doesn’t care who he has a child with just as long as he has one, he also had unprotected sex with a few other partners before his ex. Yes he has been sti checked and tested before anyone asks.
Am I being stupid? I don’t want to talk to him about this as I don’t want to be insensitive, I know he loves children and would make an amazing dad. I just can’t help thinking about it.

I don’t understand. You’re upset because he wants kids? Isnt that a basic human desire? He’s with you...
I know there’s a saying that women want kids in general but men only want kids with a particular women but really you should be happy he wants them if that’s what you want too. Yes it’s unfortunate that because of his infertility it’s you that has to go through IVF but does it matter who’s the problem? If it was you who was infertile do you think he would leave you?

If you don’t want to talk to him about it then I question your closeness and best friend assertions.

It astonishes me the number of married couples who cannot talk to each other about important life issues. It might be a difficult conversation, but life is difficult; as adults, we deal with it.

Sorry, that probably wasn’t helpful. To answer, I don’t really think it matters that he wants children in a generic sense. Many people do. What matters is that you both believe you’ve found the right person to have a child with.

DB2, now 24, has wanted to be a daddy ever since primary school. If he was in a committed relationship he'd definitely want DC.

Would have no bearing on how much he loved his partner, although he's told me he wants to be really sure the relationship is going to last - and that's because he's a very responsible man.

I don't understand why you're so upset that your DP wants DC. Would you expect your DP to leave you if you needed fertility treatment? Why are you thinking of doing the same?

I don't understand why you're questioning his desire to have children. He's married to you so of course he wants them with you

I had to have icsi for male factor infertility with my first husband. Yes it's hard to go through but you're married and want kids together so I just got on with it.

Oh and btw, the outcome was.....he's 18 today!!

I know I’m being a dickhead!
I don’t know why I feel like this, I think it’s because I never actually tried or had sex without any protection with any previous partners as I didn’t want to have a child with any of them, now I’ve met and married dh I knew after a few months he was man for me and I only want his children.
I’m not blaming either u also have found out I have mild fertility issue. We are in it together. Good to hear that @pasanda success stories make me feel more hopeful! X

You're thinking too much, you love him, he loves you... Both both want babies together so just go for it x

Thinknit also might be the actual shock of needing ivf too as it’s only been recently we have been told even though in the back of my head I knew from research we would need it to concieve.