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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm at a loss

4 replies

Theocdmummy · 09/05/2019 08:54

I've been with my partner just short of 5 years , we have one beautiful girl and another on the way.

When I was pregnant with our first we thought awfully, he was out drinking every other night and was acting irresponsible with money (making random purchases on things like trampolines - we lived in a flat at the time) it did eventually calm down and after baby was here we got on beautifully. I felt I had my family just as I'd wished.

Now I'm pregnant again and we're arguing every single day. It's always the same thing or the basis is similar. I struggle to be open with him , not about serious things but if he's upset me I tend to keep hold of out of fear of it causing an argument. But I will try and speak to him about not feeling supported around the house (we both work) and needing him to pitch in more and then he goes into attack mode. Basically I'm coming to accept I cannot talk to him about anything which is making me miserable because he's being very selfish and ultimately I'm having to live with it because I'm too scared to say anything.

I always feel like if there's an issue he will never take my side. For example his Brother in-law (sisters husband) has behaved awfully to our daughter and said she should be put down and threatened to hit her. I said that's it I'm done with him and he's never seeing her again and behind my back he spoke to his sister (not the brother in law) to say that we're upset but want to work through that. But I absolutely do not, for me the relationship with the brother in law is finished. This is just one example of how he never supports me. There are 50 more examples just from last week haha!!

The thing is I'm not sure what to do... I cannot talk to him and it's making me feel worse and worse. I don't know if what I feel is love anymore but the thought of not being together breaks my heart. I'm really at a loss.

Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
Moralitym1n1 · 09/05/2019 09:11

For example his Brother in-law (sisters husband) has behaved awfully to our daughter and said she should be put down and threatened to hit her.

What on earth was the context of this ?

Theocdmummy · 09/05/2019 09:17

At a family lunch at his parents..

Unprovoked our daughter was just playing.

OP posts:
Blondebakingmumma · 09/05/2019 14:01

Wow, just wow. If anyone threatened one of my kids, it would be very serious! I don’t blame you OP. Many ppl ask try to sweep serious things under the rug to keep from rocking the boat. It doesn’t sound like you want to stay with him

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 09/05/2019 14:15

Have you posted about the brother in law before, OP?

I know you say you can't talk to him, but does he realise that you are questioning your love for him? He may not realise it's got this far but I think you need to tell him.

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