We have been happily married for 11 years and then my world was torn apart. Last summer my husband began to get close with an old colleague he worked with. He said they were only friends but thiernmessaging became very frequent and he began to change and we would argue (something we never did before).
At the end in November my husband said he wanted us to split he said his head was all over the place and there was no one else. He said he loved me but the spark had gone. He said he would look for someone else to live after Christmas. We told family and close friends, my husband told people he loved me but the spark had gone, he we are good friends and you never know what could happen in the future. We had lots of conversations and continued to live with each other. In December he went on a night out with a couple of people( one being the old work colleague) and came back early hours of the morning. He confessed to kissing her and he said he felt bad, he was very remorseful. He told her it was a mistake and block her number. We had Christmas together including his son. After Christmas things we were getting on better but still having some arguments. Then he found somewhere else to live in the February. He got the keys on mid Feb on a Friday but didnt move out until the Sunday. It was like he was dragging his feet.
He moved out but we continued to see each other all the time and text, we even had a visit to see his brother for the weekend. When we got back we said we try to have a few days apart to see if he missed me. It last all off 1 day, the next day he broke the no contact. He texted and said he picked the phone up 1000 times. We agreed that the no contact wouldnt work and carried on. We were spending lots of time together and still being intermate. There were times we would be great then we would argue as he would act strange and i would begin ti question ( git feeling something wasnt right). In the March my husband said he had something to tell me, he had been speaking to this other women since January and he thinks he is in love with her. He said they have ended things and they hadn't slept together. She is also married with children and is very flirty with men, last year she slept with a guy a work.
My hb said he felt bad and felt i deserved to know, he said he was mainly call and texts but they would meet up on occasions for food with other old work colleagues and times on their own. He said it was so up and down and they constantly us to fall out. He said it was a strange thing but it had ended. I was so hurt i took my rings off and threw them. I asked him loads of questions which he answered them all.
After that night we talked lots and he said he wasnt sure if they would remain freinds as they are part a group of friends and it could be awkward. They werent talking and thugs became improved between us but there is the issue of broken trust. Then he rang me from the gym to say she had got in contact with him to be friends but he then realised she was playing games with him again and he told her husband everything. He said he had enough of her mind games and he realised it was an infatuation not love. He said he now hopes he could put this behind us. He felt bad how he treated me and hoped we could still be friends. Over the past few weeks we have been getting on well with the odd arguement over her but mainly good and he has stopped over loads. We have been out with friends and last week we went out to the cinema and tea, he even mentioned the word date.
Over the past week or so she has tried contacting hb which he has told me about and showed the blocked call log.
The yesterday morning before work he packed up his xbox, i asked him ehu and he was taking it home as he needs to spend some time there. He hasnt slept the last couple of nights but has still seen me. He said we need to have some space and concentrate on our close friendship. He said maybe see each other a couple of times in the week and maybe a friday and Saturday at the weekend. I asked if he was talking to her again and he said no. He said he isnt talking to anyone. I ahe notice he is on whats ap more frequrntly and when i mentioned it he blocked me saying im questionhis phone usage which isnt going to help.
Its so hard friends and family keep asking if we ate back together or keep making remarks like it would be so much cheaper have one place instead of two.
We have had a talk tonight and he says he want to remain good friends and doesn't think getting back together now is the right thing to do. He says he doesn't know what the future holds but the friend basis is a good place to start.
I'm hurt but i love him, i don't know what to do for the best. Any advice would be really welcome