I met someone and now I'm unsure if I'm acting clingy? Help please

[sallypeet]

I've fancied this guy for ages!!!!
Thursday night we seen each other whilst out and kissed and danced etc
We already had each other's number.
We've been chatting ever since.
A few texts here and there.
I don't want to be too much tho.
Monday he was meaning me first and initiating Conversation.
Text me before he went to bed and then again yesterday morning before work.
I text him yest at 3 Pm and we exchanged couple of texts then I text him at 8 pm and same again.
Normally I wouldn't text as much but because he had text loads day before I didn't feel a pain.
Anyway ..no text before bed last night and none this morning.
He has been on Facebook today but he is at work.
Am I being paranoid thinking he's changed his mind about me?
Would you play it cool today and wait for him to text ?
I really like him and don't wana put him off.

I couldn't be doing with all that. If he's doing all hinty hinty and not asking you out, in my opinion he's going to turn out to be a player, or "not looking for a relationship" but very happy to keep you hanging around for sex and scraps of attention.

If men want a date they ask for one!

I might be wrong and he might be nervous, but I'm basing this on my experience and that of friends, and this sort of start never bodes well. Don't overinvest!

I'm not a man but I'm pretty sure his messages on your last post are asking to see you again!!! You just need to reply with 'how about Tuesday' for example. BUT I would say that it sounds like a Netflix and chill situation, so if you're happy with that then go for it 😊

He doesn't sound nervous about asking you out. He sounds like he's nudging you to say you'll go round to his. Which isn't a date. If you want a proper date, either ask him out on one or reply to his hints about you coming over by saying that you don't jump into bed with people. If he likes you, he'll ask you out. If he's just testing to see if you're up for FWB, he'll cool off.

Jesus Op, it's tiring just reading about it! You HAVE TO STOP OBSESSING. If you want to text, text - it won't make a shred of difference to how much he likes you (or doesn't) PLEASE don't get into morning and bedtime texts with someone you're not even in a relationship with because a/ that's madness and b/ it's totally cringy and c/ you'd be amazed by how many people view good morning and night texts as a would be relationship contract that has more weight than the magna carta - don't be one of them , that's bonkers.

Ask him out.
'Had a great time last week. Do you fancy meeting up again soon?'
Job done!

Yes you were definitely on his mind!

Yes he is massively hinting at wanting to see you again!

FFS OP. This is tragic. Just ask him out. It is 2019 you know, you don't have to drop hints and hope the man asks you.

Also, I agree with PP - he is suggesting going over to his which is NOT date / relationship territory. (fine if you're happy with that but if you go there you are saying you are happy with being f*buddies rather than a relationship).

As PP said - Woman Up! If you don't clearly express what you want how can you ever expect to have your needs met?

I know I need to woman up and just say
Fancy a drink?

"Instead of coming to yours I wondered if you'd like a proper date. You know....out out?" See what he says. (I remember a girl I worked with telling me how she got together with a colleague of ours. He hinted about her going with him to meet up with his friends. She turned around and told him if he wanted to see her out of work he'd have to ask her out properly. I was amazed/gob smacked/in awe of her. They've now been married 12 years. Don't be subtle. Ask for what you want. If he says no....nothing lost except nights of angst.)

I too think he's just trying his luck about you coming to his, but you can control that by saying "as if I'd come to yours when we've not even had a date" and let him choose his path from there

It's certainly a different landscape from when we were first dating, in my case, before mobile phones were a thing.
What's App is the worst with the 'last seen' feature. Drives me crazy

Yeh if you've 'liked him for ages' then don't go round his place or have him to yours until you know what is what (assuming you'd like a bf not a hook up that is). I agree with what onemansoapopera said, you have to make it clear that houses are a no-go until you've done some dating.

If he sulks or tries to talk you round to just coming to his or if he uses dirty talk in his texts, you'll know he's only after one thing.

But yeh, take initiative, ask him out. He obviously likes you. We just don't know what he wants yet, a fling or a gf.

What @one said

You need to date multiple men at once in the early days. It really helps with not fixating on one individual and calms things down. Try it.

I remember this feeling well.

Please just ask him out. It's fine. Honestly.

Yes, he is trying for the easy and cheap option. That’s you dropping over when he has time for a fumble and tumble. A few daily texts to keep you sweet and job done. He’s a player not a hopeless romantic too shy to ask you out. These men do not exist and if they do, they don’t snog people in nightclubs.

If you want to date, pull back and be clear that the next step is to go on a date. One where you expect to be left home.

I agree with LEMONTT

He text me all last night and I woke up to a text from him.
I really like this guy !

Have you asked him out for a drink yet?

^ agreed. You can like him all you want but there’s no substitute for actually seeing someone in person.

Get on the dating thread and read their rules!

If he hasn't actually asked you out I wouldnt get my hopes up. The way he talks isn't shy.
If a man properly likes you he will ask. I'm pretty certain he is waiting for you to ask him for his ego and knows you like him.

Yeh sorry op but he sounds like a chancer. Constantly texting you and yet not asking you out. It's actually kinda disrespectful of him too considering you've already shared a snog or two. Just leaving you hanging like that. Sorta smacks of bad intentions.

Unfortunately sometimes when you start out as a hook up it can be hard to re-define the relationship as anything more official.