Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

AIBU about my birthday

12 replies

Lozzerbmc · 07/05/2019 10:14

So just back from a weekend in Rome with my DP & DS for my 50th birthday today. DP paid for weekend as birthday treat which I booked. Thing is today is my birthday and i thought he’d have day off but hes gone to work. I have a birthday card bought on way home from airport last night, no gifts to open because he hadnt seen anything, and he’s only cancelled his business dinner this evening because he realised i wasnt impressed. Have my parents popping in for birthday cake but i’ll need to go and buy one. Am i being unreasonable? Feel my DP is just not generous with his time or thoughtful sometimes or perhaps just doesnt really do birthdays! We always have a holiday separately and one year he went away the day before my birthday; another year (before we lived together) he made other plans on my birthday. I’m not expecting large gifts because we went away, but feels to me a bit of a lack of thought and thats what counts?

OP posts:
ThatsTheLastISawOfHim · 07/05/2019 10:16

Ridiculous, you're 50 fgs! And you went away for the weekend... and you're getting a cake! Yabu

Mumofone1593 · 07/05/2019 10:30

I don't want to sound inconsiderate to your hurt feelings but I think you are lucky to have got to 50 thinking your birthday is a day all about you. I guess maybe in future tell your husband that you would prefer a thoughtful card and gift on the day to a holiday so he doesn't arrange anything for you next year? I'm honestly sure he thought the holiday was enough so try not to take it personally? In my eyes if I arranged a holiday for my husband I would assume he didn't need a gift aswell?

Hollowvictory · 07/05/2019 10:30

Surely the weekend in Rome is the gift!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 07/05/2019 10:31

You went to Rome!

Mayalready · 07/05/2019 10:34

Unless someone blows out your candles and cuts your cake yabu.

A trip away isn't to be sniffed at!!

Sicario · 07/05/2019 10:34

Most women work out pretty early that most men need very specific instructions about things like birthdays. Admittedly it took me about 20 years to finally cotton on.

Original poster
Lozzerbmc · 07/05/2019 10:35

You are right - thank you for your perspective

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 07/05/2019 10:36

I'm one who massively celebrates my birthday.
It last for weeks.

But... even I think you are being a bit unreasonable.
You are just back from Rome (my favourite place).
He's gone to work but cancelled his dinner.
Just make the most of tonight.
Enjoy - and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

notangelinajolie · 07/05/2019 10:38

Happy birthday Flowers

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/05/2019 10:42

Whose idea was the trip? It’s a bit rubbish you had to organise/book it, no matter who paid. I’m sure he thinks that was the gift, did you have a good time? He might have got the card late, again rubbish if you were there when he got it, but he still gave you one.

Can you ask your parents to pick up a cake for you?

Happy birthday Smile

NameChangeNugget · 07/05/2019 11:06

Happy Birthday Flowers

You must know YABU though?

churchthecat · 07/05/2019 11:38

A trip to Rome will have cost several hundred! I would have assumed that was my present?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page