Red Flag?

[Oxford9090]

I recently met a man on OLD and we moved to chat on WhatsApp. He had to work yesterday so we were texting during his breaks and lunch hours and he promised to call me once he was back in the house (3 pm)

He texted to say that he was back in the house and could not call as his battery was low, so we continued to text in between the phone charging and then said that he could not call because he was cooking his dinner. Again, nothing wrong with that so we continued to have little texts in between his cooking. Once, he was done with the cooking, he said that some of his friends were around for some beer, he could not call.

The original promised to call was at 3 pm, so by 10.30 pm after his friend had left, he demanded that he will not call me unless I send to him some pictures of me in bed. I refused to send pictures of me in bed and then he accused me of "hiding" something. I called him, he refused to answer my call.

I blocked and deleted his number this morning. One or some beer too many does not justify this kind of behaviour especially so early into a potential relationship (we have not met yet!).
I believe in cutting my losses early before investing emotionally. Why do I feel so angry this morning?

You feel angry because you have invested time and energy into someone who you thought was a nice guy but it turned out that he wasn’t. You have probably started to imagine how this relationship might turn out over the next few weeks but that is not going to happen. You are also angry that a man thought he could demand something sexual from you.

You have every right to feel angry and used but thank goodness you discovered what he is like now and not later now the line.

I smell a rat....

Sounds like he’s living with someone.

You’ve done the right thing.

You're angry because you've wasted some time talking to a dick. Occupational hazard when online dating unfortunately.

He’s living with someone and collects wank fodder pics from random women.

Block him.

Sounds fairly standard for online dating unfortunately!
Don't invest in anyone until you've met, they're just strangers on the internet until then.
Some men seem to think they're entitled to pictures but they're not. Instant turn off for me when they started pestering so I'd either wind them up by sending pictures of my light fittings/ curtain rail or just ignore any further contact.

Thank you so much for all your kind words.

Yeh you made the right call deleting his number. But what I don't understand is why you spent so much time texting him. I mean it should have been 'call me at 3pm' and if he didn't he didn't.

Often people spend weeks and weeks texting on OLD though and I just don't get it. I have one...maybe two, convos right there and then online with someone and then if they seem ok - arrange a date. Between then and the date there isn't any talk besides re-confirming the date a day or so before (maybe a quick 'hows it going?' one day if the date is like a week off or so). That way you don't exhaust the conversation or get too excited about someone who will not go any further once you meet them. Maybe try that next time? Just make sure to always meet somewhere public of course.

Yes, it sounds like he’s the one hiding something, he’s not worth losing sleep over.

Update*

Just wanted to leave a little note here.

Firstly, I would like to big thank you to everyone for their kind words and support.

I took time out yesterday, went to bed early. He sent some a message on WhatsApp, I blocked that number too. I feel so much better today like he never existed and that's true too since we never actually met in real life.

I understand the importance of boundaries as well as raising your bar a little higher, you start weeding out the wrong people in your life.

He was projecting when he accused you of hiding something. No doubt he had a wife and kids at home with him.

The reason a lot of men spend months texting back & forth on OLD instead of meeting up is usually because they are married/in a relationship and can't meet up but enjoy the ego boost and wank fodder on their phones. I wouldn't engage in any long term texting or pictures until you've met them in person and established they are what they say they are.

Thank you ladies and sorry for the typo on the update, had to catch up with lots of work.

I learnt a lot from the experience.