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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I went with my gut and he has cheated

7 replies

justkeepnamechanging · 07/05/2019 04:33

Been dating a guy for over 4 months, he was perfect in every way except that I found out tonight he's a dirty lying cheat for the last two months with at least one other girl that I know of. He told me he loved me, was exclusive to me, called me and messaged me CONSTANTLY. He saw me at least twice a week. We spoke most of every day. If I hadn't felt something in my gut for months I just would have continued and been none the wiser even now.

Tonight I saw another girl he follows on Instagram had shared a story showing some candles - the same unique candles he had bought me from his very recent holiday. I messaged her to find she has been dating/sleeping with him for two months - sometimes he would have stayed at mine at the weekend and driven straight from mine (calling me on the drive) to her. He saw her TODAY and called me on the drive to her, messaged me at hers and then called me on the drive back!

I know people are against snooping, but the only way I know this info is because I followed her Instagram from a different account - her account was private. Had I not followed her and her follow me back I'd have NEVER known. I'd be none the wiser right now. He promised he loved me, even tonight. Promised she was a friend and it was nothing.

Now he won't answer my calls or respond to me - yet still telling this girl things. I've blocked him now I've calmed down. I feel so stupid but also so relieved. I read these boards a lot and sometimes wonder if I was just going a bit crazy from reading about other peoples infidelity issues. But my GUT just KNEW. It has known for a long time.

Anyway I just want to send love to those of you who have been through similar...or worse - especially those of you suffering with long term relationships and infidelity. We are worth more than these pathetic men.

X

OP posts:
AsleepAllDay · 07/05/2019 04:39

You are and I'm glad you realised. Bin this two timing jerk

justkeepnamechanging · 07/05/2019 07:15

He's binned. Just what hurts is he's been talking to this OW all night and denied my calls when I called him. I think this OW is going to give him another chance even though she knows he has been with me longer/sleeping with me/lying to us both. I'm so disgusted.

OP posts:
Putthatlampshadeonyourhead · 07/05/2019 07:47

Can I ask, what led you to decide to follow her in particular, set up a fake account etc?

There must have been something that made you suspicious in the first place

Dont worry what she does. She mat well have known and pretending she didnt to you, so she you dont hate her. Many OW/OM dont know they are the OW/OM but some pretend they didnt.

Dont worry about her. Just be glad you found out early on.

AsleepAllDay · 07/05/2019 09:10

Once a cheat, always a cheat. There's nothing to say to him besides a big middle finger. He has wasted your time and the other woman can have him

MMmomDD · 07/05/2019 12:55

OP - ok, it does hurt. But it’s only been 4 months - so you should be able to move on fairly quickly.
And in general - next time - don’t go all in so quickly.
You barely know each other. No possible conversations about ‘love’ can be trusted at that stage - it’s way way too early.
The other girl isn’t the OW. You both were dating same guy who couldn’t make up his mind and kept you both hanging. Your extra two months of knowing him don’t make much difference.

Just don’t waste your life thinking about him.

Middersweekly · 07/05/2019 16:44

You can bin him off now in the safe knowledge that the other girl also knows he’s a two timing dickhead! At least you haven’t wasted too much time on this idiot!

ShinyShoe · 07/05/2019 17:07

Wow...doesn’t he have a job! How the hell did he even find the time for all of that!! Seriously, next time date somebody with a full schedule and a permanent, busy job so they haven’t even got the time for all of that!!!

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