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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Unsure how to feel

1 reply

justalowlystranger · 07/05/2019 03:41

This is going to be a long one guys

Right backstory

So back in 2016 I was living with my ex we had been together about a year when me and my sister went on holiday together, me and ex had been arguing constantly but we're really trying to make things work as he helped me through a really tough time with depression (he was my safety blanket at the beginning)

Anyway, on this holiday I met someone out of the blue and we just clicked, I wasn't looking for it and didn't mean for it to happen but it did, for the whole holiday we spent the a lot of time together along with my sister and his friend ( they lived together in said country) it was great and was the best holiday we have ever had we went on day trips and would go out at the night to bars etc, I completely fell head over heels

After coming home I came clean to ex and we just stopped trying and broke things off, I stayed for a couple months in our house before getting a new place of my own, all the time talking to OM nearly everyday and planning things we would do if I moved abroad or he came back to the UK

This went on for about 8 months until I found out he had slept with an ex while she was out in said country on holiday, he admitted to me and it broke my heart, it was very hard for me to deal with as I had been faithful since coming home and things just eventually fizzled out

He ended up coming back to the uk a month later and has lived here since, we tried to stay amicable and things were fine and I got with current partner who I love dearly, a few months after me and DP got together he got a new partner and a month later announced they were pregnant, it completely knocked me for 6 as it happened so soon

I'm very happy for them and they seem very much in love, however the baby is due this month and for the past few weeks the whole situation is completely racking my brain, I just don't know what's wrong I'm not jealous and I'm very happy for them, me and DP are doing great and building our life and I love him to the moon and back, but I just can't shake this mood it comes and goes

Would just really appreciate if anyone has been in the same situation or has any advice about how I should go about sorting this because I'm so conflicted and hate feeling off all the time 🤦🏼‍♀️😐

OP posts:
DianaT1969 · 07/05/2019 08:42

I think your mistake was to stay friends with your holiday fling. Why did you put yourself through that? Being friends with someone you used to dream of a future with? It stops you giving 100% to your current life. In getting together with his ex, he was jeopardising his relationship with you - a type of rejection of you. You chose to keep that rejection and 'what if' alive.
Wish them well, but then disappear from their lives and concentrate on your own. I bet both partners will be secretly relieved to.

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