Online dating - irrationally paranoid or something in it? Has this happened to you?

[user6hty]

Ive only recently put my all into online dating, as in talking more and swiping more!

I've noticed that sometimes mid way through a chat, the person will disappear...clearly blocked or deleted me. i've noticed been deleted as a couple of days later i am swiping away and i match with them again. this is in the middle of very early convo, nothing that could be seen as offensive or a reason to write me off. nothing about being vegan/not being vegan etc. just basic chat about the weekend, and maybe 5/6 replies each!

then another person i had a great date with,text me a lot after the first meeting, let's call him mike. called me, all fine. then out of the blue one day my message doesn't deliver. i called him and it was evident he had blocked me. no idea why...

for background..everytime i meet up with someone they want to meet again. i have only had one man ive been interested in (the one described above as Mike). this seems to only happen when chatting and i have noticed it recently as ive been using the app much more. have i lost my looks etc or do they think i am too old or something? am i being paranoid?

Pretty normal. They are chatting to other people - maybe they go on a date with another one, maybe another one just seems more their type from chatting. Maybe you mention something and after the conversation they think "Oh actually I don't fancy dating a sporty person / cat person / person who writes the pronoun "I" small after all" and click "delete" or "block" or whatever. You haven't met, they owe you nothing, you owe them nothing, it's all very casual.

that's true. i had just never noticed it before. now i think of it i have deleted people before.

i had begun to think some sort of conspiracy was going on! it is tough...don't like it at all!

I don’t block people but I frequently exchange a few messages with someone and then realise they aren’t really doing it for me / aren’t my type and let it tail off. It’s not personal, it’s rarely something in particular they’ve said or done and is usually more because I’m messaging with several people at any one time and others are catching my attention more. In return, I don’t get offended or upset when men I’m messaging do the same to me - I never take it personally. Don’t overthink this. It’s not you.

"Don't take it personally" really is the key to OLD .
The thing is, you might be much, much nicer, more attractive and interesting than that other woman that they do go on a date with, or see a second time - but they never find that out, as they decide to go on a second date with her, because they quite like the sound of her voice or because she mentioned their favoutite TV show, or because the last woman they dated had blue eyes and she has brown eyes and they fancy a change. They might even go on to marry this woman in 5 years' time - and all along, they would actually have got on much better with you. But as chance has it, they never find that out.

They don't know you, so it's not about you. You don't know which of those strangers is "best" and neither do they.