Soon to be exdp has said I'm not allowed to go out

[Whattheduckisthis]

Awful controlling nasty soon to be exdp of 2 years this eve admitted that he refuses to look after dd purely because he will not allow me to go out and socialise.

Dd has extra medical needs visually impared 11 months old will not go to anyone other than me or her dad panics and eventually breath holds untill passing out hence why I cant find alternative childcare just yet so yeah I'm trapped.

What can I do? Getting ducks in a row to leave him building finances slowly....

So sorry to hear this and it just validates your decision to leave even more

Would your parents be able to train themselves to help out if they are close by?

What a controlling prick!
Can you just walk out the door? I wouldn't give him the choice if possible.

Does he know he’s soon to be ex?
In all honesty I’d just bite my tongue and realise it’s another reason that clarifies what you’re planning- when they think they can play with your feelings/ plans etc it’ll only happen more

I'd leave him to breath hold. It's purely to frighten you into thinking your DC isn't safe. Bet he's never done it without an audience.

Try to find an experienced babysitter maybe someone with Nanny/Nursery Nurse training, and gradually introduce them to your DD. So you have someone else who can look after her. You need to have time away, she will also need you to go to meetings without her in the future.
Don't let yourself be tied to your Ex.

Why can’t you leave now?

Thanks for your replies everyone.

I'm not close with my parents, dad doesn't really bother and my mum is borderline alcoholic who doesn't like kids (what is this life) so they wouldn't help anyway.

I've thought about just buggering off however I'd be honestly so worried in case he left dd or locked me out or took her that I'm scared to do it!

He doesn't know hes soon to be exdp no, I've "grey rocked" the situation so hard recently so I dont think he has any idea

Dont wish this on anyone

Shes recently started nursery in prep for me returning to work next month so I'm going to enlist her key worker as a baby sitter too as she gets used to her !