40 year old who has never had a long-term relationship?

[Dieu]

Hi. I'm a 44 year old divorcee (have been on my own for 5 years), who is currently dating a 40 year old man. It's nothing serious at this very early stage, but he seems like a thoroughly decent and lovely chap, and I am enjoying our dates.
On our last date, I asked him about his most serious relationship so far. He said that he hadn't really had one, and that the longest had lasted 6 months, at which point he hadn't wanted to take it any further. He has no children.
I mentioned this to a friend, and she said it was a red flag, for a man this age never to have been married or committed to a long-term relationship.
Sure, it's a bit unusual, I agree. But would it really put you off someone? Would be interested to know your thoughts (just out of nosiness really, as I do like him, and want to see where this can go).
Thanks.

He lives on his own, right? I mean he's not still at his parents house?

I met DH when he was 39 with little or no relationship history. I was 35 with slightly more experience - but nothing more than about a year.

Its not entirely been plain sailing as we are both pretty set in our ways but 8 years and DCs on it seems to work.

It really was a case of not having met each other sooner... it doesn’t have to be a red flag.

I do question to myself why I didn't have an ltr in my 20s but when I look back I did fall for very unsuitable men, who were into partying like me or who were married (I know) or who weren't interested... like a male friend who I liked for years who kept me dangling, honestly I feel so used over that one.

I hope my judgment is better now!

He has no baggage (unless he is lying) no old relationships, no children.
I would wait & see if your relationship lasts passed the 6 month mark
I would give him a chance

It's not that rare IMO. I know five blokes who could be described like this. They've just never found anyone who was "right" for them.

My husband was this age when we met, no kids, no long-term previous relationships. He is an amazing man and I’m very blessed to have him. He’s also a brilliant Dad and Step-Dad and we’ve been together years now. He was insecure and lacked confidence in his earlier years due to a neglectful childhood, and a lot of women found him geeky and looked no deeper. My gain!!
Enjoy each other.

Wether he just loses interest very quickly, has commitment issues, wasn't ready to settle back then, or he just didn't find the right person. Anyhow, just go slowly, don't rush things and always make sure you're on the same page.

I wanted to add my story even though I might be a bit late to the party (story of my life 😂) I’m 44 next month and have never dated before it never interested me I have had moments that women might have been interested in me but I didn’t realise at the time till months/years later 🤦🏻‍♂️. But in 2025 I’m finally ready to start dating for the 1st time ever, so what I’m saying is it’s totally normal not to have dated at this age. I think for me I have seen my closest friend, date (he’s the same age has me) he’s had 3 kids since got married got a house and I always thought it would eventually happen to me but it didn’t I’m just a homebody and play video games not cod 🤣 and watch movies/tv shows but I feel totally bored of this being on my own now. I haven’t travelled much either my last holiday away was 1992 to euro Disney when I was 11 and definitely need to get an up to date passport.

@Residentsteve have you actually been on a date or had a kiss and cuddle if not sex?
Have you not ever just been out clubbing and had a drunken snog as a youngster?

I haven't had a proper long term relationship more than a few months but I have actual mental illness which includes paranoia which can make relationships difficult!

But I've had quite a few boyfriends, do date, and had short affairs etc, sadly found out I can't have children.

Do you think you may have some social anxiety or other issues?

You could easily meet a woman gaming online, there are lots of online communities just watch out for scammers!

I do recommend getting a passport - travel with a mate for a European city break or something. Travelling iis great and will broaden your horizons.

You said in your other thread that you'd like to meet younger women but I think you need to just start meeting any women, just as friends to begin with.
A circuits class at the gym or other mixed sex class is a good place to start.
Make sure you're well groomed!

It's not 'normal' just because that's the situation you are in.

The fact that he has never had a relationship is a silly, childish and frankly cruel deal breaker.

The reason for him never having had a relationship ....well...yes in there you might find a "red flag".

His prior relationship history in itself though? It's just neutral information.