We met 6 years ago when I was 31 and he was 32. We'd both just come out of relatively short marriages (his ex cheated mine was EA) . I had DD now 7 and we've lived together for 3 years.
Ive just recovering from depression, for the first time in ages I'm enthusiastic about life. We've had a really tough few years. But I'm beginning to realise that he makes life harder. I love him, I couldn't imagine life without him but now I'm craving a 'normal' non chaotic life more than anything and I'm not sure it's possible with him in it.
We seem to lurch from one crisis to another. Mainly financial. He's never made any money. He's always been 'building up a business'. When I was earning quite a lot this wasn't too much of a problem but in the lastbyear or so, DM had seriois cancer diagnosis, I've been ill and my business has suffered. I've not earned as much, he has been unable to step up financially and we're pretty much broke.
His business was in a mess but I always thoughr he at least knew what he was doing. I went through his finances to help him get organised and make a plan. I was shocked with the mess. And the level of passivity and frankly apathy to the state he was in that his finances showed. He'd just been writing cheques with abandon, not even keeping track. There was no money left and we've had no choice but to close his business.
But all of his careless actions over the last few months are coming to bite him on the arse. The vehicle he kept leaving and not getting fixed is now broken beyond repair. The work he left until the last minute last week went wromg on the 11.5th hour and me and his whole family had to step in to help.
TBF he's very stressed right now, but 've always had to ask him to shower more frequently than he would. His hygeine has slipped again and I haven't the energy to start that up again. He's ridiculously nessy, we both are. But after I spent the entire day cleabing yesteday, he's just traipsed dirty work boots over light carpets on his way out. Completely oblivious. Completely inconsiderate. Thats what its always like. I often tell him I dont feel like he respects our home he treats it so badly.
Rather than looking for a job, he wants to stay in self emoloyment. But still after everything over the last few weeks, I asked him this morning how much money he had and he didnt know. That was just aft
He has many many good points. I've been hoping losing his business would be a wake up call. I'm not sure he will ever grow up though and take responsibility.
Anyone had a similar experience?