I keep thinking what it would be like not living with Husband

[Confusedhelpplease]

Hi all

I'm wondering if you can help me. Advise me please .
Sorry this is so long.
I keep thinking about leaving my husband and what it would be like to share childcare etc and the fact it would be better to leave.

My husband is really good with the kids, hes kind to me but I just cant stop thinking about this. It probably wouldn't be better but I need to get these thoughts out of my head.

To share the school runs and have weekends to myself and get some me time.

The things he does that annoy me are he drinks a few glasses of wine every night and tries to make me drink too but the past 2 days I've just said no. Hes obsessed with sex but I'm not. He moans after work at us especially if he has a bad day and gets stressed with the kids but hes only been with them for 1 hour.

He will spend time with the kids at weekends. And he has provided for us for 5 years.

I just dont feel there is any spark there we've spoken about the drinking and he also always goes out most nights to the shops to buy junk we dont need and he said he would stop but he hasn't.
Dont get me wrong he can have a drink but I just think it's too much, and I would like him to do a regular school run once a month.

Maybe this is just part of being a parent and wife but I just feel it's getting too much and I'm unhappy

How can I become happy?

I'm sorry this is long and probably doesn't read well

TIA

Sending you , i can relate with your post, i do get time to myself but the drinkings always been a problem in my relationship, been with my DH over 20yrs, 3dcs, hes a binge drinker, has cut back lately due to me telling him my concerns but gradually getting back to his usual ways and sometines i fantasize about being apart, sad isnt it when we think like that Have you told your DH how you feel?

and I would like him to do a regular school run once a month

Does he work full time?

And he has provided for us for 5 years

Do you work?

The drinking and snack buying are something that you clearly need to discuss.

The other bits-I’m not sure what is going on. If he’s supported you all for 5 years, that suggests he’s working-is that why he doesn’t do any of the school runs? Many DHs working full time don’t do any school runs because they are at work.

Thank you @justcantforget yes I hate the feeling and thinking like this it's making me so stressed. I have told him and he said he wants to stop but he hasn't yet.

@redlocks
Sorry o explain better, I took a few years off to have children but now we both work full time. All my money since going back to work has paid for the childcare .
Over the next few months when I pay less childcare we will split the Bill's and childcare. I was part time until a few months ago I went full time.

I find it all so relentless every day getting the kids dressed and breakfast then to breakfast club then collect from after school club give snack and bath every day
He is out of the house 6 to 6.30

I know it's bad but I just keep thinking well if we split up he would have to do at least 2 school runs a week .

Maybe I'm just struggling at the moment. I just dont know how to help myself.

He did for a couple of weeks get the kids dressed before work but he stopped a week ago as said it's just a nightmare getting them dressed because our 5 year old is a nightmare in the mornings.

Thank you for both responding.

You're not alone. When DD was younger, i fantasised about splitting up as I thought he'd do more grunt work. Like I'd get every other weekend to myself. Plus a couple of evenings.
It's terrible to think like that but I reckon many do, secretly.

Try alanon. The drinking may not be that heavy but I still affecting you.
Make a rota sharing jobs in a fair way, or write down what you do and what he does, include paid work. Do it like timetable with different colours for jobs, kids, time off etc.
He needs to see how unfair it is.

@hiddenaspie exactly that, I'm glad I'm not alone. Thank you for commenting.
How did you get through it?

@missingstreetlife

Thank you that's a great idea, I will make some thing, it will be good to picture it and then we can discuss the options.