Clingy STBXH

[Ihavehadenoughalready]

We’re living in same house while getting divorced. I find that he follows me around the house when I’ve clearly moved from wherever I was to get away from him. I don’t want to be with him, it’s over, that’s why we’re divorcing.

He keeps trying to talk about divorce details with me that I wish to discuss only with my atty.

He is trying to give me “advice” about stuff I don’t want to listen to.

He is invading my personal space.

I am the one moving, my choice, and it needs to be soon. I wanted to wait til school was done, then be moved for this next school year. Time is moving very very slowly with my cling-on.

Any advice for me?

What ages are any children living at home?

Sorry I read it wrong, thought you were waiting for exams. Do you have the placement at a new school? Are you planning to stay in the same house or move elsewhere?

‘I don’t want to discuss that’, repeat as required

“Personal space”......
or buy a taser

Furiousvexation two teen girls and a preteen boy.

I am moving to apartment within same school district.

weenurse I like it.😉

Was it your decision to split? Maybe he's hurt and trying to stay close to you. If at all possible try to be there as little as you can, perhaps a couple of days in a cheap airbnb if you can afford it or stay with a friend or relative sometimes for the sake of your health

I don't understand men. Sounds like he's panicking and he's regretting whatever it is he's done to make you leave, but can't bring himself to say it. He's also shit scared about life without you in it. He'll probably be on the phone every five minutes when you move out as well. "Have you seen the....?" ....."Do you know where the .... is?", "I was just wondering.....?" all helpless lamb.

As soon as he finds someone else he’ll leave you alone. Move out as soon as possible. He’ll drop you when he has something else to distract him.

So you have decided you want to divorce but you're still living in tne same house ?

Can't you see how that must be torturing him ?

Did he do anything wrong or did you just fall out of love with him?

he's regretting whatever it is he's done to make you leave
Oh yes of course, it's always the man's fault

Stupid men.

This is what they do:

1. Wife raises issue. Ignores it.
2. Wife raises issue. Tells her she is imagining it.
3. Wife rasies issue. Gets agressive and points out her faults, and tells her she caused it.
4. Wife raises issue and asks for counselling (a real distress sign from the wife). Stonewalls, refuses
5. Wife gives up and retreats. Relief, that's out of the way, now we can carry on.

1. Wife announces she wants to leave. Absolutely horrified, belatedly tries make an effort, offers counselling to solve the problem
2. Wife has already left the building.

If the marriage is so so, does not involve abuse or intimate betrayal, it can still be saved at this stage OP. But it does need professional help.

Why did your marriage end, can you tell us?

ScreamingLadySutch , that is brilliant! That is EXACTLY what happened in my marriage, over the course of a great many painful years.

OP, you just have to hang in there until school is finished. If he is at home in the evenings, go out (friends, evening class, gym, running). Dont just sit around, because it gives him the opprtunity to follow you.

@screaming lady

You have it.

Gambling, smoking in the house in front of me and the kids despite my repeated requests that if he could not quit that he at LEAST smoke outside. Gambling sometimes to the point of his entire paycheck being wasted, him being gone all hours and me stuck with kids. Him working only part time due to “stress”, me having to pick up the slack with full time work. He raging in the house at every little thing that goes wrong or he can’t find. And on and on.

I finally decided that if he would not seriously get help for himself, that I could no longer put up with it, and I wasn’t willing to continue into retirement with him if I couldn’t rely on him not wasting all our money and him giving me or himself lung cancer.

And yes, through the years pleading with him to stop, to get help, and then when I finally told him no more chances, I’m done, he was in huge denial that I would actually end things. “Do I upset you that much?”

Yep... they’re not that bright, are they?

Agree with PP, go out, take up a hobby get out of the house