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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Maintenance

9 replies

summer151 · 04/05/2019 23:21

My stbexh hasn't paid any maintenance for 5 weeks. We agreed a figure we were both fairly happy with during mediation but is now refusing to give anything and is saying he will put it in to an account for the kids for their future. Surly he cannon do this. I'm really struggling paying everything myself...

OP posts:
Jax12123 · 04/05/2019 23:22

You need to submit a claim through child maintenance service

Angrybird123 · 05/05/2019 07:57

No of course he can't. Tell him you'll open a claim and do so.

UnicornDust9 · 05/05/2019 08:01

No he can’t. Go through cms

eve34 · 05/05/2019 08:11

As everyone else has said go through cms. He won't like it one bit. Because he will have no control over you/the money

We expect our ex to be reasonable people and put the children first. But they are not and want to make our lives difficult. And continue to have some control over is. Don't let him.

Just be breezy. And say as it seems we don't agree let's get someone impartial to decide what is fair.

lovinglifexo · 05/05/2019 08:12

Cms

lifebegins50 · 05/05/2019 08:17

Where are you in the divorce process? A judge will not look well on him for unilaterally stopping payments, especially for children.if you have the agreement in writing is it formalised through a consent order?

Beckiee12 · 05/05/2019 08:24

Contact CMS Tuesday. I have a case with them as my children's father kept using excuses as to why he couldn't pay when he has a full time job. It can get quite stressful but it's the best thing as like people have said it's not him who can control it. I do direct pay atm but as CMS recalculated my ex's earnings to a higher amount he hasnt paid for 3 weeks. He was paying £7 a week as a full time labourer for 3 kids and got caught out so it's gone to £79 a week and he doesnt like it. Thing is they know he hasnt paid and will end up either going straight to his employer so it's taken from his wages or he will end up in court. Clearly men like to have the control but this way they dont and hopefully your ex isn't anything like mine and will follow through with it rather than try be even more awkward 🙄

Original poster
summer151 · 06/05/2019 21:41

Thanks everyone who advised me

OP posts:
FromDespairToHere · 06/05/2019 22:03

This makes me so bloody angry! So his children are allowed to eat, be clothed and have shelter at some mythical time "in the future" but not now? Definitely CMS. And if he asks you not to and says you can come to an agreement without them then remind him that you cznt trust him.

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