I think its over

[Stressedmummyof4]

Been with dp for 17 years not married. We have had our ups and downs like a lot of couples. I have 3dc at the moment and lost a baby around 8 years ago.

I have made other posts recently about finding out I was pregnant again on Tuesday. I have been on contraception however we have been unlucky.

I have cried so much this week as do does not want any more children, he has given very valid reasons all of which I can see but, I couldn't bring myself to have a termination. I just don't think I could cope with the emotion and my mental health afterwards.

I have told him this, I've also told him I'm wanting to keep the baby.

I think we are now at a stage there is no going back, we have tried to keep things calm and talk however tonight things have changed. He has told me I am not going to railroad him into having another child like I did with my youngest. I fell prey 4 months after having middle dc. He never said anything at the time about being unhappy but is making it clear now they were never in his plan. We have argued tonight, in frustration I told him I would make the phone call next week, however there is no going back and that I will never forgive him for pushing this on me. He has since said that I planned this.

I am not at a point where I think we're over anyway so why put myself through a termination now.

One of my dc is special needs with behavioural problems and can be extremely full on now, I just don't know if I'd cope on my own with 4, but if I did say goodbye to my baby there's no going back for me and dp I think. I'm just so confused

If you want to have this baby, then have the baby.
You will “cope” just like all the other single moms and make it work.

You can't force a man to be a good father - although you can force him to pay CSM, by law.

Has he thought about what you splitting up is going to do to his relationship with your other 3 DC? Is he going to come and pick them up EOW and just not acknowledge the youngest? What is that going to mean to them?

Very hard situation OP. In your shoes and from a purely logical and practical point I personally would terminate but I can understand that your previous loss (which I am very sorry for) would make that very difficult for you.

Perhaps it's time to start looking into what support you could get, financially, practically, emotionally, if you were single parenting?

That's the most infuriating part he absolutely loves the three that we have and is a great dad works really hard to provide for us. I really can't fault him as a dad.

But I feel that we are probably not going to make it