a year ago I was full of hope that I wouldn't always be alone for bank holidays, weddings, christenings, birthdays, Christmas. you get the idea. but I am here again.
I am really really sensitive to friends who are busy or cancel plans etc. I know it is totally unreasonable and I keep it to myself but my two best friends are busy with other half this weekend and I feel so down about it. is isn't their fault but I feel like nobody gives a shit (I know deep down it isn't true and they are great friends). but as I cook dinner for one again and flip through the tv channels I feel low. no bank holiday photos of family fun here.
it all begins to feel so meaningless. I am nobody's priority. I am just a "if I have time" or "if it is convenient." when someone significant is in your life then generally you have that person who you make plans with and all else is fitted around the outside.
cant stand it when people say find single friends...my friends are my friends and even the newer ones are or have become in relationships.
just feeling low. another lonely bank hol.