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Relationships

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being the filler in person..Another bank holiday highlighting lonliness. anyone else?

14 replies

user6hty · 03/05/2019 18:42

a year ago I was full of hope that I wouldn't always be alone for bank holidays, weddings, christenings, birthdays, Christmas. you get the idea. but I am here again.

I am really really sensitive to friends who are busy or cancel plans etc. I know it is totally unreasonable and I keep it to myself but my two best friends are busy with other half this weekend and I feel so down about it. is isn't their fault but I feel like nobody gives a shit (I know deep down it isn't true and they are great friends). but as I cook dinner for one again and flip through the tv channels I feel low. no bank holiday photos of family fun here.

it all begins to feel so meaningless. I am nobody's priority. I am just a "if I have time" or "if it is convenient." when someone significant is in your life then generally you have that person who you make plans with and all else is fitted around the outside.

cant stand it when people say find single friends...my friends are my friends and even the newer ones are or have become in relationships.

just feeling low. another lonely bank hol.

OP posts:
Coffeebean2 · 03/05/2019 19:11

Hi - the other side of it is that not everyone in a relationship is happy and having fun. People in relationships can be lonely too. There are positives to being on your own!!

Lasttobepickedatgames · 03/05/2019 19:42

Just want to say me too. I'm not single but may as well be. DH refuses to socialise with me so I'm always on my own and it's soul destroying. Friends are all in happy relationships and obviously want to spend time with their own families. It's depressing but find that having the dog helps because at least I can take it for a walk and get out the house.

mushlett · 03/05/2019 20:14

I’m married and have kids and this weekend will probably be sharing loads of stuff on social media that look like we’re having the best time. I’ll safely bet that for the majority of the time I’ll be feeling more lonely than you are. I hope you find some fun things to do xx

Goodenough06 · 03/05/2019 22:54

I'm married and a mother but husband works away so will spend bank holiday doing exactly the same shit I do every other day.
I'm sorry you feel lonely. Take yourself out for a posh breakfast and go for a nice walk somewhere...or if it's raining go to the cinema. That's what I'd do if I didn't have a (super tantrumy) toddler to deal with.

dragonflyflew · 04/05/2019 01:52

Op I know exactly what you mean.

EBearhug · 04/05/2019 01:56

I've got an application form for some training at work, and I was thinking I really don't have anyone to contact in case of emergency.

Still, I am pretty good at entertaining myself, so I'll be quite busy over the bank holiday.

snoutandab0ut · 04/05/2019 02:02

Are they really that good friends? I’m single and two of my closest friends are in long term relationships but they actively make an effort to see me regularly (and all three of us meet) because we’re friends, why would them having partners stop that? Are your friends the kind of people who stop making effort with friends once they have partners? I personally would rather be single than with the wrong person and I’m planning my future and goals around the assumption that I’ll be single for the foreseeable, possibly forever! I’ve fully accepted that and it feels good. Being single isn’t a failing. It doesn’t make you lesser. Whether one meets someone they end up with long term is literally pot luck imo.

Lefty1 · 04/05/2019 04:26

Book short city breaks for bank holidays , go to see live music , go to the gym / movies , you don’t have to have friends to go out , before I had my little one I went on holiday on my own a lot and loved it , no having to accommodate anyone else’s needs by agreeing to go various places .
Reframe this OP , being single = unequivocal freedom to do what you want and on your own terms . Fuck them all and do you ! Flowers

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 04/05/2019 05:18

I'm sorry you feel like that.

I will also be alone as I am most weekends. However I never feel lonely and enjoy my own company. I live in the Lake District and just spend my days outdoors. I would certainly go mad in the house.

Could you try going somewhere nice?

Singlenotsingle · 04/05/2019 05:33

There are probably lots of May Day festivities going on in your area. Fayres, fetes, car shows, jousting, etc. I know it's not the same, going on your own, but it gets you out of the house and who knows, you might get talking to people. You might even meet someone nice. The weather forecast doesn't seem to be particularly good (certainly not in my area) but if we never went out because of the weather, it'd be a poor show!

blackcat86 · 04/05/2019 05:53

I'm going the queue of married but lonely. I'm no one's priority either. Get yourself out and enjoy doing some things that you want to do.

snowdrop6 · 04/05/2019 06:02

I’m married ,but he’s in his own world.kids are past spending time with me.i feel the same as you op about friends.perhaps we need a lonely support thread

stucknoue · 04/05/2019 07:36

My h announced he wants to leave so these long weekends seem even longer. We need to rebuild lives I know but it's hard

threesecrets · 04/05/2019 18:33

Try to see it as freedom and not loneliness.

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