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Original poster

Mum's who can't find themselves in photos

30 replies

Tasha149 · 03/05/2019 16:31

Recently someone put on mum's net about lack of photos they were in with there children. It made me look over mine to realise I'm only in 1 or 2 photos a month with my children from the day they were born. I now feel sad that I never asked for people to take photos and never really thought not being in them would affect me this much. Does anyone else feel this way x

OP posts:
PhalangeReginaPhalange · 03/05/2019 16:37

Yeah weirdly I do and I’ve started taking selfies with DC but im a weirdo! I try and do it once a week!

Canshopwillshop · 03/05/2019 16:43

I hear you! It didn’t really strike me before but I’ve recently been putting together photo books and have really struggled to find many photos of me. Determined to change that though.

junebirthdaygirl · 03/05/2019 16:58

I had to really stress with dh that he needed to take pictures of me with the kids. He has never I'm his life taken a spontaneous picture so if l say take a picture he spends so long focusing the moment is gone.
All my pictures are ones my diss took while visiting or at family get togethers.
Now my DC are older they take loads.
But it is disappointing.

SpudUDontLike · 03/05/2019 17:00

Yes to this!!

We even joke that I'm just a shadowy figure in the background of photos as I'm always the one taking them.

Had to ask my husband to take photos as well and he always rolls his eyes.

TheTreeHearsYourSecret · 03/05/2019 17:11

Dh and I both have the same cameras so there are loads of photos and videos of us with the children. We also use our phones for every day sort of photos.

Even if I am just videoing the children I am talking to them so you can hear my voice on the video.

We have traditions, so at Christmas Dh videos and I take still shots of the children opening their presents.

TheTreeHearsYourSecret · 03/05/2019 17:12

Posted too soon, presents for myself or Dh are videoed and the children hand us the present and are in the shot for it.

BattenburgIsland · 03/05/2019 17:13

I do now. When my son was born I felt so awful that even if anyone tried to take my picture with him I told them no. I'm sad about that now because there are hardly any photos of me with him when he was a baby. It's just pics I've taken of my husband holding him or him on his own... youd not think he even had a mother if you went from the photos!

NeverHadANickname · 03/05/2019 17:15

I am currently pregnant with no other DC so nor currently relevant. However, now you have mentioned it I will make sure there are plenty of pictures with me and the baby so thank you.

Dirtybadger · 03/05/2019 17:17

1 or 2 photos a month seems a lot to me? Am I missing something? Blush

OhMyDarling · 03/05/2019 17:17

Single parent- I only have selfie style photos of me and my daughters from the age of about 5 and 6 when I got a phone with a front camera!

Babdoc · 03/05/2019 17:18

I wish I had more pics of DH rather then me or the DC. He died when they were babies, and I have so few of him. It was the days before digital cameras, and it was expensive to buy film and pay to get it developed.
The only video I have of him is from an am-dram local panto.
Make sure you have pics of all your family, yourselves included. Just in case. And it’s nice to look back on them years later.

mooncuplanding · 03/05/2019 17:19

I know someone who cited this in their divorce petition 😱

almostsunny · 03/05/2019 17:24

I saw a similar comment a few years ago and now I make real effort to make sure I'm in photos, by reminding my oh regularly

Peachesandcream14 · 03/05/2019 17:25

I have no photos at all of while I was pregnant, and very very few of me with dd that aren't lame selfies, the ones ex took are all me looking grim in a puke covered dressing gown Sad. Ex has hundreds of beautiful pictures of him and DD because I bothered to take them. I resent it massively because it was me who was with her 24/7 doing literally everything for her. And now I'm single so no one to take any of us together now either.

Bucketandspades · 03/05/2019 17:57

Yes I have hardly any pictures of me and my kids. Whenever I ask my DH to take pics of me and the kids the answer I always get is “oh for fucks sake!”. The kids are now of ages where they don’t want pics taken with their mum as it “isn’t cool”.
I’ve tried to tell them all that one day when I’m not here, they might actually regret that they don’t have pictures to look back on. I know I have regrets with no having pictures with my dad, but no one in my family seems to bother. It actually makes me feel kind of worthless as if they don’t really care!

Biggles398 · 03/05/2019 18:00

Very very few photos of me with my (now 11) year old at all. I really hate having my photo taken, but I wish I'd sucked it up and just had some taken as I cant get that time back and my daughter will have very little photo evidence of us.
They dont care what you look like, they just care you are there xx

Drogosnextwife · 03/05/2019 18:02

Your lucky if I get 2 or 3 with my kids a year, infact there aren't even that many.

bourbonbiccy · 03/05/2019 18:25

I have hundreds of photos of my Son, but very little of myself or my DH with him. Even on special occasions when I say to my hubby, we need photies of all of us today, we end up not getting them.

I will continue to try and get more of us. I do take far too many photies of my DS though, I just don't want to forget a thing !!!!

Original poster
Tasha149 · 03/05/2019 18:32

It's the children's first year that bothers me the most. I wish I was in more photos but I'm only in about 20 if that x

OP posts:
Mummy578485 · 03/05/2019 18:35

Same for me, I asked DH to take lots of photos of DS and me - even if I looked terrible or wasn't up to it, I knew if he took lots there was bound to be a few gems in there. As it is, he takes 1-2 occasionally and I inevitably look rubbish.

By contrast I have thousands of DH and DS - both looking beautiful, posed, natural, indoors, outdoors, eating, sleeping, playing, smiling, making faces. He complains that I overdo it, but he loves the photos after. It's not fair.

Mummy578485 · 03/05/2019 18:37

I added up the number of photos of the three of us, including good selfies, over 2 years and it came to nine. NINE! I made a collage out of all of them which was oddly depressing.

SpudUDontLike · 03/05/2019 20:15

Also I like more candid shots where the people in the image aren't doing a forced pose. It's nice to catch an 'action' pic of DC in the middle of an activity with DH for example.

However DH never thinks to do the same in return so the only pics I get to be in are posed Ines with forced smiles after begging DC for at least 10 minutes to come and have a picture taken and they look grumpy.

Original poster
Tasha149 · 03/05/2019 20:26

I'm not a mum who takes photos of everything everyday but I'm feeling soo low of the lack of photos I'm in with the kids. I'm never going to have another baby and feel like I missed out on soo many photo opportunity's, that my children are going to think I was never there. Only I'm there 24 7 full time busy mum who never thought about the photos for years until my sister had a baby and poses with her baby everyday for photos and I'm pretty absent from mine x

OP posts:
whatdoesntkillus · 03/05/2019 20:31

I have been thinking about this. Over the years, I am not in many pictures because I take the most of them. It is hit me hard thinking about it again reading this thread as last summer I discovered my husband was having an affair which started when our fourth child was only a couple months old (as far as I know anyway). There are hardly any photographs of me with him or the others for that matter other than selfies I have taken. He is now almost 1.5.

hugoagogo · 03/05/2019 20:37

There are about 3 photos of me and the dc altogether and ds in 20 years.
Photos really aren't very important.