DP is a hoarder.. help

[oldschooloon]

I was evicted with my kids 18 months ago, we couldn't secure another tenancy in time so had to move in with my partner while I continued looking. He and I had only been together a year at this point, but very happily so and after a few months we decided to stay living together.. BUT

This was on the basis that we would sort out his accumulation of junk and the bulk of my life could then move out of storage units and into our shared home. 18 months have passed and the house is still rammed to the rafters, literally.. neither of us are especially tidy but his collection of stuff makes no sense to me, he keeps adding "useful" things, tools.. machinery/parts/gadgets and every in Road I make gets swiftly piled with shit again. He's endlessly kind and supportive, but we both have long history of depression, he "comfort eats" and his weight has ballooned to the point his snoring has become sleep apnea and I claimed a room so we could sleep separately as I was exhausted from sneaking down to sleep on the crappy sofa every night.
He admits he's a hoarder and says he wants to change things and clear it .. but nothing significant ever changes and our relationship is under severe strain. Most of my life is still locked away in storage and I feel like I'm existing in a timeline of someone else's mental illness and not feeling like this is my home at all

I don't know what to do, I'm drinking too much and feeling utterly desperate.

Your kids will hate you for making them live like this.

Couldn't the kids go and live with their dad? It must be extremely stressful for them. They're going to move out as soon as they can anyway

Good luck with reforming a hoarder. You are going to need it. At least if you don’t value the time of your life spent living in THAT, have some thought for your children. They really don’t deserve it. You are robbing them of their childhood, friendships, a home where they have got space to play, do their homework and have friends over whenever they wish. Utterly miserable for them, if it isn’t for you.

@gamerchick - when I was a kid growing up in a hoarder's house, I would have gone to live with anybody who had a clean home. And I mean anybody. As it was, I moved out into my boyfriend's parents' house at 16 because it was relatively clean and tidy, albeit slightly cluttered - it looked like a fucking palace compared to what I'd come from. Had there been another parent, you wouldn't have seen me for dust long before then; the only reason I didn't move in with my granddad earlier than that was that he died.

@MitziK I completely agree. My parents were hoarders and it was a horrible way to grow up. I could never have friends over, so I barely had any friends, I never had any space of my own, and as I grew up I resented my parents for choosing to keep our house in such a mess. I used to have dreams where the house was tidy and when I woke up and it was still a mess it would make me cry.

It’s affected me as an adult too - I hate mess or clutter of any description, which means I nag my partner more than is probably fair, and I’m pretty much NC with my mum as her house is still a tip and I can’t bear to be in it with her.

It will be affecting your children, and if you have any option then please let them live with some normality.